


Three

by AyashiTetsuko132



Series: AyashiTetsuko132's Muggle AU Series - Remus Lupin & Nymphadora Tonks [10]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Parenthood, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2020-10-04 03:03:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 31,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20463965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AyashiTetsuko132/pseuds/AyashiTetsuko132
Summary: “I sneezed out a person from my vagina!”That was the first thing Tonks said to her newborn son.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> (Finally, the peak of the journey. It's going to be longer than any of my Remadora fics. I'm super excited about this!)

Interesting how the clock seemed to tick louder as the deadline drew to a close.

Remus John Lupin checked his watch as if trying to make sure the one on the wall was not making a mistake. Standing in front of the classroom, with a voice that was trained by years of experience speaking in a noisy space, he announced, “Five more minutes.”

His gaze moved from one side of the room to another as the sounds of hurried scribbling and panic gush filled the room. He stopped at Hermione Granger, sitting straight on her chair in the front, looking like a student who had checked her answers twice --and would not hesitate to call out her teacher if she does not get a perfect A.

His gaze then moved to Neville Longbottom, who looked like … Well, a student who was fully aware that he had screwed things up. Lupin might need to talk to this poor kid later.

Five minutes passed, the bell rang, and the students stood up from their seat. Groaning, they made a messy queue to hand their test paper --and welcome the long-awaited summer holiday.

Apart from Hermione, the only other person to walk with a smile was Luna Lovegood.

“Here it is, sir.”

“I hope you’re not drawing stick figures on your test again,” Lupin said as he received her paper. 

This was the first time that he taught the teenager, and he had heard stories about her, certainly. But still, he felt like getting a heart attack when she took a test in his class for the very first time --and answered all the questions with doodles instead of words.

Luna was immediately called to his office. During the conversation, Lupin learned that the stick figures were actually some kind of mnemonic tool for her. It helped her to structure her thinking, so he thought of a way for her to continue doing it --without sacrificing her grades.

“Oh, no, sir. I took your advice. It’s very helpful.” Her eyes widened excitedly.

“I’m glad it was,” Lupin replied with a warm smile.

“Yeah, so I draw all my answers on the extra paper, then turn them into words and move them into the real test paper … It takes time, alright, but I just need to move really fast.” She stepped aside to give space to the other students.

“Well, I understand that you’re more of a … creative, visual thinker. But in English classes, you need to work with sentences.” 

The last students handed their test papers, and Lupin moved back to his desk to put them into a large envelope. As he went through this process, the gentleman noticed that the blonde girl had taken a seat in front of him, folding her arms neatly as if waiting for the lesson to start.

He assumed that there was something that she would like to talk about. Many of his students found him easier to talk to, compared to the other teachers. They came to him with problems that ranged from “They’re talking about me behind my back!” to “Sir, my mind is very dark lately. I just want to disappear.” 

If a piece of advice was needed, he would gladly give it. But he also learned that, often, these kids just needed someone to listen to them.

“So, how are things at home?” 

Always a good place to start.

“Home is fine,” she answered, lifting her shoulders nonchalantly. “I still hear voices calling me from the attic, but everything is fine.”

“Uh-huh.”

“How about you, sir? How’s your child?”

Lupin stopped putting things inside his bag. “My child? But I don’t have a child.”

“At least not yet,” he hurriedly added with another smile.

Luna cocked her head to the side; her laser blue eyes studied her teacher carefully. “But you do, sir.”

“Eh?”

“Yes,” she nodded rapidly. The girl made some movements with her hands as if something was growing out of her head. “And it’s growing bigger every day.”

\--

“I’m not peeing on a stick just because a sixteen-year-old made me!”

During recess, Lupin found himself standing near the greenhouse in the more quiet and secluded corner of the school --where he would sometimes catch a few students smoking or snogging. Only this time it was him who was trying to hide from prying eyes, making an urgent phone call.

“Look, Dora, I know this is going to sound really weird …”

“It  _ is  _ weird,” the voice on the other side replied.

“But please. Give it a try,” he pleaded. “Buy a test pack … I’ll pay for it later when I get back. Then call me. Let me know the result.”

He had just told her that Luna had told him that Tonks was with a child.

No answer came from the other end, though Lupin could hear the muffled sound of a television playing in the background. 

Nymphadora Tonks --the woman he was set to marry-- had been under the weather with a cold. He imagined her laying on the sofa in their living room, wearing his T-shirt or pyjama pants, watching a rerun of her favourite series with used tissue papers thrown around her.

After a while, the gentleman finally heard a loud sigh. 

“I think I know what’s going on here.”

“Oh?”

“Remus, you are being pranked by your students,” Tonks declared. “Again.”

Lupin waved his hand desperately. “No … No! This is different. It's Luna Lovegood. Not Fred and George!”

“How is it any different!?”

“She has a sixth sense!”

At this point, everything was so absurd that his fiancée ended up laughing instead of being angry at him. 

“Yeah, go on. Keep on laughing.”

“Honey, I’m so sorry … but, you! You believing in this …”

Sighing, Lupin rubbed the back of his neck exhaustedly. “I’m making myself sound even more stupid here, but listen. Remember when … when Ginny went to juvenile detention?”

The laughter faded into silence.

“She predicted the incident months before it happened, Dora. It's not something that you just guess out of a person like Ginny.” Lupin started to pace up and down.

“Okay …”

“Look, you know I don't believe in these things. But … with this kid, you just never know!” He threw his arms wide. “I’m honestly terrified of my own student, and she’s not the one to bring knives to school!”

He took a hasty, deep breath. “So, please … just … just do it. Please. For my sanity? I’m having a mild panic attack here.”

The lady sighed again. “Alright. But I assure you. Nothing crazy is going on down there. I would have known.”

“Thank you, sweetheart. I … I hope she’s just being weird.” He massaged the bridge of his nose. “I’m not supposed to say that, but …”

“When are you coming back?”

“Uh. Just have to correct some exams. No patrol duty today. Will be back before six. Do you need anything?”

“Nah, I’m fine.”

“Alright. Bye. Love you.”

"Love you, daddy."

The phone call ended. 

The last thing that she said would usually make Lupin blush, but this time it sent chills down his spine instead. There was a 50 per cent chance that Luna was right, and … the word would have a whole different meaning then.

Tonks had known about his HIV status when they first met --when she helped to fill in the position of drummer in Lupin’s old band The Marauders, more than two years ago. 

In the early days of their relationship, the idea of having their own biological child was out of the question. Lupin was afraid of passing the virus to her and his unborn child. So in every conversation about their future together, their hypothetical children were always adopted.

Until Lupin went to the clinic for regular tests and found out that his viral load was so low that it had become undetectable --meaning that there was a very low risk of him passing them to his partner. The doctor also reminded him of successful cases of, under the right care, parents preventing the passing of the virus to their children.

So right before they got engaged, with newfound optimism, the couple went to the clinic to get Tonks on ARV treatment as a preventive measure. With the hope that,  _ after _ their wedding, they would be ready to have that baby.

But more than a month ago, after he popped the big question in Cornwall, the couple had a little too much champagne --and found themselves feeling a little braver than usual. Brave enough to let it out inside, without protection, on her fertile days. Twice.

Now you know why he was legitimately scared.

\--

To be honest, Lupin struggled to remember how the rest of the day went for him after that phone call. He certainly recalled checking the exam results in the teacher's office, then to a brief meeting with the headmistress. But it was impossible to remember the details of these two occurrences, especially since Tonks never get back to him with the results.

The next thing he knew, he was already in front of 394 Wolfsbane Drive, knocking the door as if life depends on it.

"How was it? Did you get to do it?" were the first things he said to Tonks when she opened the door.

He was right in guessing that his fiancée had stolen yet another one of his T-shirts. She also had his boxer pants on; the only thing that belonged to herself was the hooded jacket.

The woman did look like someone who had spent her day in bed. Her short hair --which had been in its natural colour of dark brown in the past year-- was messed up and her skin looked like it could use some moments in the sun.

"Bloody hell. Calm down, Mister. How about you get inside first?" She responded.

"Right. Sorry." 

"And a kiss for the Missus?" She pointed at her cheek for him to kiss, which he willingly obliged.

Once they were inside, Tonks proceeded to the kitchen while Lupin dropped himself on the sofa in the living room.

"How's your day?" There was a hint of guilt in Lupin's voice.

"Alright, I guess. The cold improved, though not much," she answered from the kitchen.

"Let me know if you want to go to the doctor," he replied, absent-mindedly.

A moment later, Tonks returned to the living room with two cups of tea. Thanking her, Lupin took a sip of the tea before stopping to look at Tonks from head to toe.

He could not stop his gaze from resting at her belly.

"And you, you only have one thing in mind today," Tonks pointed out.

"I'm sorry."

Tonks bowed down her head to look at her own belly. "You wonder if there's actually a child in here."

"I won't deny that." 

Tonks sighed. Stretching her back, the women tried to get to a more comfortable sitting position. "Anyway, there's someone who would like to meet you." 

Lupin rolled his eyes. Honestly, not the best time.

"And who could that be?"

Please don't let them be her parents.

"Yeah! So this person … would really love to see you," Tonks answered. “But the thing is …”

The woman made some moves to reach out to the buffet behind the sofa. There was a large ceramic bowl which Lupin's late mother used to store keys and random things, and Tonks searched for something there.

"He, or she … won't be here until the next nine months."

The woman handed him a piece of thin, rectangular white plastic with a small window on its top left corner.

When Lupin looked down at it, his hand shook. For there was a plus sign inside the small window on its top left corner.

"This is …"

"So … after your phone call, I checked the calendar, and uh … I've been late," Tonks shrugged. "Took three of these. They all said the same thing."

"Wash your hands, by the way. That thing has touched piss," she hastily added.

There was nothing that Lupin could do but to lift up his head and stare at his fiancée with impending tears in his eyes.

Seeing his reaction, Tonks laughed.

"I guess your student is psychic, after all."

The plastic thing fell on the floor as Lupin jumped to give her a hug.


	2. Week 6

“Dora, if you keep on laughing like that, perhaps we should go to psychiatric ward as well.”

Tonks was lying on a bed, wearing a hospital gown with a large towel covering her body from below the waist. She was waiting for the doctor to prepare for her first USG check, with Lupin standing nearby --and she had been struggling to stop her giggle.

"I'm sorry. I'm too excited! I can't help it," she returned, covering her mouth with her fist while her other hand caressed her fiance's tenderly.

Luckily, the doctor was used to all sorts of emotional reaction from couples expecting their first child, so she laughed together with her. "It's very exciting, isn't it? And … here come the images."

There was a gasping sound as the first black-and-white images appeared on the small screen. The attention of everyone in the room was immediately drawn to it; Remus inched himself closer to his fiancée, grabbing her hand tighter, trying to get a better look.

As the image became clearer, the doctor began to point out the different parts on it. "Right, this area here is your uterus …"

"My, it's very dark," Tonks muttered.

"I don't think they have electricity in there," Lupin sighed.

Tonks's laughter burst again, but her mind immediately returned to the screen, as the doctor proceeded with her explanation.

"And you see this small circle here? That's the gestation sac," the doctor said. "And this small, bean-like spot here …"

Tonks gasped, holding Lupin's hand a little tighter.

"That's the embryo. It is about 9 millimetre now, but it's already in the right position."

The doctor turned towards her patient. "Everything seems good."

At the first sight of their unborn child, Tonks and Lupin could only stare at the screen with their eyes wide open, losing all the words that they had intended to say.

Questions were swirling around their mind, and Lupin became the first to raise it.

"Does it have any heartbeat yet? At this stage?"

"It's a bit hard to detect now, but it's normal. We can see in the next two or three weeks. Do you have any more questions?"

"Yes, yes … I have!" Tonks responded, raising her hand as if she were in a classroom. "So … it's pretty much confirmed, right, that there's a child in there."

"It's an embryo, honey," Lupin added, but his fiancée completely ignored him.

"So … is it normal that I don't get morning sickness at all? Or am I actually lucky? The only difference is that, in the last week, I've been down with a cold."

"Pregnancy symptoms varied between each person and pregnancy. There's also a possibility that symptoms such as nausea will only appear in the next few weeks," the doctor explained. 

"Nasal congestion is actually one of those symptoms," she added.

"Oh … okay."

"Is there anything that we should be concerned about?" Lupin asked.

“Please excuse my fiance, doctor, he always needs something to worry about.”

The doctor laughed politely, secretly wondering how it was like inside this weird couple's household. "There might be some spotting but it's nothing to worry about …"

"Oh my God!"

"Yes?"

Tonks tried to get up from the bed. "I had alcohol last week! Did I harm the baby?"

“See, there’s always something to worry about!"

"I'm sorry, baby!" Tonks yelled at the screen.

“Now, now … from what I can see, everything seemed to be in good condition. I would say just make sure you don't repeat it," the doctor replied.

"Is it so?"

"Yes. Try not to worry about it so much. I will prescribe to you a vitamin …," the doctor responded, walking away from the bed.

As the doctor made her move to the desk, Tonks used the opportunity to nudge her fiancé. “Look. Remus, can you believe that? That’s our baby.”

Throughout the appointment, if he was not asking worried questions, Lupin had been doing nothing but covering his mouth or scratching the back of his own neck. Now that he finally got the time to be still and consider the image on the screen, the man looked even more restless.

“It’s sleeping there, waiting to meet us," Tonks whispered, giddy with excitement. “To meet you!"

Lupin bowed his head. After hours of looking like he was going to have a nervous breakdown, the man finally loosened up --and let out a burst of soft laughter.

"Well, I guess … It's all real, isn't it?"

Tonks pinched his arm playfully.

“Everything has always been real, Remus," she assured. “Us, and now this.”

Only at this point that the man's chuckle grew into a burst of full-on laughter.

“See, now you’re laughing."

“It’s contagious.”

Shaking his head, Lupin continued to stare at the little bean-like spot on the screen.

He felt warmth travelled across his vein, wrapping him with a deep sense of contentment that he had never felt before --and he was grateful for it. 

But deep inside, at the corner of his mind, he sensed darkness looming. Threatening to eat him alive. Bidding for its time.

\--

When he rode his bicycle home from football practice, Harry noticed that his smartphone had been vibrating non-stop. First, it was a phone call, but afterwards, there had been endless notifications of incoming messages.

Only when he arrived at 12 Grimmauld Place that he finally got to check the device. There was a text from Hermione about summer homework, which he ignored. But the rests were messages and a call from his godfather, who was away on a business trip.

_ Where are you now? _

_ Just got home. Sorry was on bike _

_ Did you see Remus in school? _

_ Umm no it's holiday already. Why _

The boy typed his answers as he walked into the house. Just as he dropped himself on the sofa, Harry suddenly got reminded about the snack he recently bought.

He was heading towards the kitchen when another message came in.

_ Is he at home? I meant our home _

Feeling puzzled by the question, Harry was just about to reply with another question ("Why would he?") when he stepped into the kitchen --and found Lupin standing there.

The man had a bottle of sparkling water in hand and was just about to close the refrigerator when he saw Harry. They were both surprised to find each other there.

"Harry! You're home."

"And … you're here."

Once the shock wore off, Harry made the move to fetch a bowl and a box of sugary cereals from the cupboard. But he could not get his eyes off Lupin. It felt strange to see him in their kitchen in broad daylight, as he would usually visit them on weekends for dinner. Yet there he was, pouring sparkling water into a glass, looking as if he was waiting for something. 

The boy assumed he intended to meet Black. "Sirius is in LA."

"Yeah, I just realised. Bad timing." Lupin smiled nervously. "I'll just finish this and leave then."

The man took a gulp of his drink. Once done, he looked like he just remembered that his student was there with him. "How are you, Harry? How's the test?"

Harry took a seat and for a moment the two talked about school and anything related to it; basically the kind of conversation one would have when they bumped into a teacher outside of school. The boy would occasionally take a glimpse at his phone and saw that Black was still typing a message, so he chose to ignore it. But during this conversation, Harry's gaze also wandered off to Lupin's hands --and he noticed that they were shaking when he held his drink.

This led him to pay more attention to the gentleman. Even after just one quick look at his face, he noted that Lupin did not seem as healthy as he had been in the past few years. 

Due to his condition, the man had to go in and out of the hospital for many years in his life. Apart from that, the side effects of his treatment had not been very easy for him. This is why he often looked exhausted; even though they were of the same age, Lupin always seemed way older than Black.

But in the past few years, things have been improving greatly for him. He put on a bit of weight and seemed to have more energy; he also did not get hospitalised as often. Lupin attributed this to finally finding the right medication and implementing a healthier lifestyle, but Harry and Black concluded that it was more than just that. He was able to get to this point because he was happy --and Tonks played a great role in getting him there.

This is why Harry was so bothered by the thought that, that day, when he sat in the Black family's kitchen, Lupin looked like how he was before he met Tonks.

"Um … anyway, uh … are you alright?" Harry asked. "Your hands are shaking."

Lupin looked down on his hands and chuckled as if he was embarrassed by it. "Oops. Yeah. Well … yes. No, uh … actually … no."

That was not the answer of a person who had been in good condition.

"Anything that I can do?" Harry asked again, folding his arms on the table.

Lupin still refused to make eye contact, and he held on to the glass tightly as if it would stop his hands from shaking. He seemed to hesitate about something but then decided to say it out loud. "Tonks is pregnant."

Harry slammed the table. "Whoa, congratulations! That's great news!" 

"Yeah."

"This is amazing! Does Sirius know?" 

Harry was just about to get up and give his teacher a congratulatory hug, but he stopped when he saw that the man did not seem to share his excitement. "You're not happy?"

Lupin sighed. "We went to the ob gyn to confirm it. Did some tests. Including HIV. Everything came out normal."

"So … no reason to worry, then?"

"Well, no. But …," he sighed deeply. "That's … that's the thing, Harry. Everything comes out so well, things are falling into place … and that scares me."

There was a moment of silence. 

Harry cocked his head. "I don’t understand." 

"It’s like … It's too good to be true. This level of happiness, it couldn’t possibly be real. It couldn't last forever. Something really bad must be hiding behind this, waiting to unravel, and …" Lupin no longer tried to hide his shaking hands, waving it around as he speaks, looking even more frantic than he already was.

This made Harry feel even more uncomfortable. "Okay. What's going on here?"

The boy was leaning forward to the table when a new message came into his smartphone. As he picked up the device, Lupin continued to ramble about how he had not slept and eaten for days. But Harry's attention was completely taken by the string of incoming messages.

_ He disappeared. Left home w/o his phone n wallet. So if he's at home or if you see him, tell him to fuckin go home _

_ Tonks is worried, she's been calling me and she's crying _

_ You won't blv this but she's pregnant. N Remus is suddenly gone _

_ He said he was going to school but he's nt there _

Harry's eyes widened at the messages while Lupin's voice dragged on.

"And this morning, I couldn't hold it anymore … I just cracked."

"So you left home." Harry lifted up his head. There was a strange, burning sensation running through his veins.

"... I left my phone. I was supposed to be in school, meeting McGonagall, but …" 

"So it's true? You left her? You left your pregnant girlfriend?"

Lupin went quiet. He closed his eyes and looked like he was gathering enough nerves to reply to the boy. "I am overwhelmed, Harry."

"Something bad is going to happen, and I … I can't face that. I can't be there watching it happen," he hurriedly continued before Harry could say anything. 

"But you have no proof!" Harry exclaimed. "Why are you running from something that hasn't even happened!?"

"It CAN happen! And it will! This … this is not right, Harry, nothing in life can ever …"

Harry crossed his arms. "Okay. What exactly is going to happen? Tell me."

"The test could be wrong! The baby could be ill! And Tonks … she could have caught it!" Lupin went hysterical. "And I … what if I suddenly got worse? I got ill and died and couldn't survive to see my child?"

"Well, so far one bad thing has happened, and that is you leaving her behind."

Lupin slammed the table. "I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have agreed to have a child. I'm bringing her troubles …"

"THERE. IS. NO. TROUBLE!" Harry yelled. "There is no trouble, you're making things up, and … and even if there is, then you should be there with her! Not running like this!"

"I …"

"You're being selfish and cowardly and …"

"What do you know about fear!? You're just a child, you never …"

"Oh, let me tell you what I know about fear! When I was a kid, my parents went on a business trip and never came back!"

Lupin gasped. 

Harry was not going to waste any moment. "Yeah, I may not remember it, but Sirius and I had talked! He showed me the clippings! 'British aid workers kidnapped by the terrorist group … confirmed killed … their bodies returned to London.'" 

"God, Harry …"

"At least my trouble was real! The papers confirmed it!"

"Harry …"

"Don't talk to me! I hate you!"

With that, the boy jumped out of his chair and ran towards the door. Once he was gone, in addition to the kitchen's door, he also slammed his own bedroom's door shut. Its echo made the walls of the kitchen trembled.

Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Lupin dropped himself back into his chair. Staring at his own hands, the light in his eyes changed as it finally dawned on him the gravity of what had happened. No longer oblivious and mad, there were only agony and regrets there. Within seconds, tears started running down his face as he slumped on the kitchen's table.

"What happened to me?"

\--

"All I'm saying, Ron, is that there's nothing wrong about starting early!"

It was a bright summer morning and Hermione found herself standing on a bleacher in the school's football field. She had been yelling for five minutes straight at the boy, whose attention was glued to the game on his smartphone.

Interestingly, after her last sentence, Ron began to show signs of him actually paying attention. "Uh. No. Sorry, but there's definitely something wrong with starting early."

"What …"

"Look, school is like, three months away, alright?" The boy put down his phone. "We can go to the museum later! Right now, I still need to take a break! My ears are still ringing from all those tests!"

Hermione was about to say something, but then she noticed a groan from below. Lifting up her hand to Ron's face, she peeked into the grassy part below, where Harry seemed to be struggling with the shoelaces of his football boots.

He came to a point where he would just drop it to the ground angrily.

"Harry? Are you okay?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, mate, been like this since yesterday," Ron responded.

"I'm fine!" Harry shouted. 

His two friends went quiet.

"Sorry. It's just that … I'm so pissed off," he hurriedly apologised.

"What's the matter? Anything you can share with us?" Hermione asked.

"Hello, Harry."

The trio stopped when they heard the voice of a gentleman near them. Turning their heads, they could never hide their surprise to find Lupin standing there near Harry.

"Mr. Lupin!" Hermione's jaw dropped.

Not sure if she was more surprised to see him there, or to see him appearing so suddenly. But the man just smiled at his students, despite the mysterious circumstances of his appearance --and the suspicion it has raised. "Hello, Hermione. Ron. How are you?"

"Uh. Alright, I guess," Ron answered, hiding his smartphone as if Lupin was going to confiscate them.

"What do you want?" 

Both Hermione and Ron were stunned to find Harry's reaction to seeing Lupin there. Standing there in the grassy part of the field, the boy already had his arms crossed and his feet wide open in a threatening stance, giving off the impression that he was ready to punch Lupin at any time.

"Harry. He's a teacher," Hermione whispered urgently.

"I don't care. What he did …"

"Do you have time, Harry?"

Everybody went quiet. They were all surprised at the fact that Lupin was able to handle the boy's anger calmly.

"I believe that there's something that we need to talk about," Lupin added. "If I may?"

Harry looked around him; at the football kits near himself, the team members playing in the field. At the boots that he had failed to untie. The boy sighed and turned back at Lupin. "Alright."

The two walked to the other side of the bleachers, where they would be able to speak without interruption --though Hermione and Ron were unable to stop themselves from listening.

Once they got there, Lupin began speaking as soon as possible. "I want to apologise to you."

The boy did nothing but crossing his arms.

"I had been extremely rude, bugging you with my personal problem like that. It wasn't supposed to be your concern. I stepped out of line."

Harry mumbled something unclear.

"Most importantly, I'm sorry about your parents. I completely forgot about what happened, in my oblivion," he continued. "I must have hurt you."

A moment passed between them.

"I know that I don't deserve this, but I hope that you'll forgive me," Lupin stated.

"Don't apologise to me," Harry snapped. "Say it to Tonks."

Lupin nodded. "I have. I went back home straight away, after … Took her one day to finally talk to me again, but it's understandable."

Harry continued his silence, and Lupin did not make any attempt to break it, as he intended to let the boy steer the conversation from now on. But after a while, Harry finally shad something to say. "Why?"

"Eh?"

"Why did you do it?"

The man slowly lifted up his shoulders. "I don't want to make excuses. But …" Lupin took a deep breath. "Harry, I have to admit. I have a problem."

"Obviously."

"No, I meant … A problem. A mental health problem. Perhaps Sirius had told you something about it."

Harry's memories ran back to the times when Sirius talked to him about his secondary school days --when he, Harry's father, Lupin, and that manager bloke were basically part of an unbreakable circle. He remembered a story of when Lupin had a public meltdown in the school library before a big exam, where he cried and shouted about wanting to die after a night of cramming. He also remembered Black's stories about Lupin being a light sleeper; when they stayed at each other's place, the man would wake up at night and lock himself in the toilet. Doing God-knows-what.

There was also a story of when their band got their first record deal. Instead of celebrating with the others, Lupin was unreachable for two days. He was later found in his flat, refusing to eat and go out. Feeling haunted by something Black was unable to see.

"Yeah. He did." As he answered this, Harry's mind went to the scars that he once saw on Lupin's wrists.

"It was at its worst when I was in school. After … And then, when I first got my HIV diagnosis." Lupin explained. "I was on therapy for years, and things were improving. So I stopped taking medication. Terrible mistake, I know."

Harry changed his standing position. "So what are you going to do now?"

"I'm starting therapy again. In fact, I'm going to the clinic after this. You know … to catch up."

"Most importantly, I'm going to be at home. With Tonks. Helping her get through this … she's starting to get morning sickness," he added. "Luckily it's a holiday."

Another silence passed as Harry stared into the distance, kicking a random stone on the ground. The boy eventually sighed deeply. "Don't ever do that again."

"Yes."

"Don't leave Tonks like that again. She's also my friend, and I don't want anyone to hurt her. Especially you."

"I promise I won't."

"Also, if you ever have in problem …," Harry continued. "You can always talk, you know. You're not alone. Banning people will actually hurt them."

"I understand now."

"Sirius always said about how he cares for you, how he wants to help … but you always say no. He always had to push it on you."

"But I don't want to be a burden."

Harry paid no attention. "I know you're scared. We're all scared. But please do the right thing," the boy said. "Even if you make a mistake, even if you're not perfect, all that matters … you're being there."

Lupin's eyes widened.

Harry turned away from him, preparing himself to go. "Better an imperfect father than a non-existing one."

The boy returned to the football field, leaving Lupin alone to contemplate his next choices.


	3. Week 7

“And then McGonagall told me, ‘I wish I was doing this because no one else would do it, Remus, but the truth is, I sincerely believe you are the right man for the job.’”

It was a nice summer afternoon at 394 Wolfsbane Drive. Lupin found himself lying on the floor of his sitting-room, resting his head on his fiancee’s lap. 

His eyes lit up as he waved his hands around, talking to her belly, updating his unborn child to the great news from work.

“So, starting from next school year, Dad will be deputy headmaster,” Tonks added, rubbing her belly softly. “We should congratulate him!”

“I’m not going to be in the classroom as often … And I think I’m going to miss teaching. But it’s a wonderful surprise,” Lupin smiled. He then turned to tickle his fiancee’s belly. “Almost as wonderful as you are, dear child.”

The couple has been doing this new ritual, despite knowing that, at seven weeks, their child was too small to hear --let alone understand-- whatever things they are saying to it. 

But Lupin believed it would be good for them. His theory is that, as new parents, he and Tonks needed to get used to talking to their child as soon as possible. Because his work as a teacher had shown him all the problems that can possibly happen when parents and children are emotionally distant from each other --and they are not pretty.

Besides, the couple had begun collecting parenting books from the local library. So far, what they have read confirmed his theory. 

“So many good things happened this year. Ask your Mum, she’ll tell you all of it,” Lupin sighed.

“Yet your father thought terrible things would happen.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Dad is a very decent person, sweetheart. But sometimes, he forgets about a lot of things.” Tonks stroke his light brown hair gently. “For example, years ago, I’ve already told him: He’s safe with me. He doesn't need to fear anything, because I'm always here with him."

Her eyes gave an "I-told-you-so" look at him.

Lupin chuckled. “Yeah. She’s right. I should have remembered that.”

He picked up her hand to kiss.

“But now everything is fine, dear child. Dad had been to the doctor, and there’s some medicine he needs to take … But that’s a good thing. Dad will be healthy again,” he continued. 

For a moment the two went silent, adsorbing the peace that came with the quiet stillness of the afternoon.

Lupin almost fell asleep in Tonks’s lap until he suddenly recalled something.

“Hold a second, I need to talk to your Mum,” he whispered to her belly before getting up. “Anyway, love …”

“Mmm?” leaning on the sofa, she too almost fell asleep on the spot.

Lupin fixed his sitting position so that he was then facing her directly. “Ah … Here’s the thing. With the promotion, comes salary rise, certainly.”

Tonks’s eyes widened. “And Mummy loves how that sounds.”

“Precisely! We need to redo our budget, but …,” the man took a deep breath. “I’m quite certain that we’ll have some extra cash to spare.”

“And that means …”

Instead of giving her a direct answer, Lupin grabbed her hand once again, and his voice lowered. “Well, perhaps we can only have something simple … but I think it’s possible to have it sooner.”

Another silence passed.

“Do you think so?” Tonks squinted her eyes.

“It’s up to you, of course. I personally never wanted a big ceremony. But I was just thinking … If we’re doing it after the baby is here … There’s a likelihood that we will get too busy, too exhausted. In the end, it never happened.”

“That might be true."

The woman bowed down to stare at her belly, which still shows no signs of carrying a child. Rubbing them gently, she added, “Also, if we’re doing it soon, it won’t be apparent.”

Lupin nodded. They had talked about it and he knew too well of her aversion to inform the pregnancy to her parents now, especially to her mother. 

If they are breaking the news after their wedding, perhaps Andromeda would not be too hard on her. 

“Alright. Let’s do it soon. I’ll contact the city hall.”


	4. Week 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I felt like crying when I wrote this chapter. I'm so happy for Tonks!)

Tonks found herself standing in a crowded but tidy line at the station, waiting for the tube to arrive. 

Her mouth tasted bitter, so she popped in a ginger candy that she had been keeping in her bag lately. It was the only thing that helped with the morning sickness, which had started its full-blown attack in the past week.

By the way, whose idea was it to call the thing "morning sickness"? What a load of bollocks. She bet it was a man. Because all-day sickness was more like it, honestly, based on her experience and the testimony of others on the internet.

Take an example of today. Tonks was supposed to have band rehearsal at the studio, but she spent most of the morning hugging the toilet bowl, crying over the porridge and toast that she had to let go as waves of nausea hit her.

Once she felt strong enough to get up, she left the restroom to find her bandmates already sitting in the pantry, ready to devour their lunches.

She had not informed them about her pregnancy, so everybody thought Tonks ate something funny again. It just seemed like the kind of thing that happened to her. They treated it as an unfortunate case of food poisoning; they gave her water and some biscuits before they suggested her to go home.

One of them even offered a plate of homemade sandwich, but the smell of it almost made Tonks faint. Turned out it contained chicken, the bane of her existence throughout this pregnancy. She even made Lupin donate any remaining chicken by-products in their refrigerator to a charity, including eggs, because they made the house smells outrageous.

"Please wait, baby," she said under her breath. "We'll be home soon. Then we're gonna sleep and ask Dad to cook beef broth for us."

The woman rubbed the very soft bump on her belly, which still inapparent when she was fully clothed. She tried to remember the information that she had read: That the embryo was about as big as a raspberry already, or a kidney bean. It had also started to grow limbs. Limbs! Is he (or she) going to be tall like Remus? How about eye colours? Dark like hers, or blue-green like his?

When she got nauseous like this, did the embryo feel the same way? If yes, she felt really sorry for it. Hopefully, it was not going to put it in danger. She was determined to make sure that both of them will be healthy and fine, throughout the pregnancy, and certainly after birth.

The tiny, lovely creature growing inside her.

Soon, within the blink of an eye, it will grow into a full-size human baby. Tonks is going to struggle to walk and has to give up the clothes that she has been wearing. Perhaps she will even need to take a break from music? Has there ever been a pregnant drummer? Will it be possible? 

As she wondered how it would feel to finally get to that stage, the tube came in. Its door opened with a swooshing sound, and Tonks followed the crowd into it.

As she got inside, instinctively, she stopped herself at the nearest and most convenient standing spot. But it suddenly dawned on her that for the first time ever, she was finally eligible to sit on the priority seat.

(And if anyone ever wanted to question her, because she still did not look pregnant, she would definitely vomit on that person.)

She moved to the end of the train, where she found an empty seat --exactly beside a young woman and a baby.

As if she was being hit by thunder, that very moment, Tonks experienced what most people would call a moment of clarity: That she was finally  _ there _ . Getting to that point in life that she could only dream of. The moment she had been preparing for.

Even as a tomboy and non-binary, when she was a toddler, her favourite toy was a rabbit plushie that she liked to call as her baby. She dressed the doll, fed it with a toy spoon, let her sleep next to her. 

In her adolescent, while her friends dreamt of climbing the corporate ladder and wearing power suits, Tonks dreamt of a creative life. Of paintings, of music. But her most important masterpiece would be the little family she built with her beloved: Cheerful, obnoxious children running around her as she works on her pieces.

This is why, that night in Cornwall, after he asked her to marry him, Tonks did not make any attempt to stop Lupin when he was too intoxicated to put on a condom. She even asked him to do it again the next day, for she knew that she was ready for motherhood --and she wanted to carry his children, out of everything.

So when she took the seat next to the mother-baby pair, she could not resist not making conversation with them.


	5. Week 10

“And this … is the sound of the fetal heartbeat.”


	6. Week 13

"They're here!"

Ron shouted at everyone in the dining room, and the already cheerful mood escalated.

It was always hectic inside Mrs Weasley's fish-and-chip shop, but that day, the atmosphere was different than usual. There was a "closed for private event" sign placed near the door, and the tables had been arranged to form a long one --big enough to accommodate around 20 guests. 

In addition to that, they were also covered in white linen that Mrs Weasley borrowed from a friend who owns catering services. The lady also took out her best cutlery sets and had flowers placed neatly on the table.

As if all of this was not enough, she had also arranged for a sound system to be installed at a corner, with Percy standing by with his laptop, ready to press play upon instruction.

After the warning from Ron, everyone in the room --who had their best dresses and suits on-- scurried to find the best position to greet the incoming.

There was a deafening silence amongst the crowd when the door slowly opened with the ring of a small bell. But it was soon defeated by cheers of congratulations, showers of petals, and a rendition of a classic Sinatra hit when the bride and groom entered the room.

They had just returned from the city hall to have their marriage officiated. 

Completely taken aback by the surprise, the bride turned towards her man. 

"You said we’re having lunch …" 

With a knowing smile, he responded by pulling her closer into his arm.

"Yes. At our wedding party.”

The groom had a white shirt which sleeves were rolled up to his elbow because it was the peak of summer and the weather was unbelievably hot. He had a yellow tie and grey vest on, with a yellow pocket square peeking out of his vest. His trousers were of matching grey colour, and his leather shoes were dark brown. His soft brown hair was slicked back, and his stubble actually made him look even more desirable.

The bride herself was wearing a short, simple white dress with an A-line skirt made of tulle. She carried a bouquet of sunflowers, which matches the colour of the groom's tie. The woman did her own make-up and styled her spiky, mouse-coloured short hair as she would usually have them. For she wanted her groom to recognise her on this special day and revel in the natural beauty that had made him fall for her.

But the most interesting feature of the bride's look was the dark brown Dr Martens boots that she completed her attire with.

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Lupin!"

"Oh my God! I love your shoes!"

"I'm so happy for you two!!"

The couple greeted and hugged their friends, laughing and talking as they moved towards the dining table. 

It was the happiest day of their life, and the fact that he had made it possible for her to spend it with these people, had made it even more special.

\---

The dining table had been arranged in such a way that Tonks and Lupin were exactly at the centre of it. Sitting next to them were Tonks’s parents Andromeda and Ted while sitting exactly across them were Black and Harry. The rest of the guests were the Weasley family, many of Lupin’s current students and colleagues, and Tonks's bandmates and other colleagues.

The mood in the room was jovial, especially when Fred and George came out of the kitchen carrying the wedding cake. 

The guests' admiration turned into laughter when they saw the topper on the cake: Not only that the bride had shocking pink hair, she also looked like she had just fallen down face-first on the cake, with the groom trying to pick her up.

"Custom order," George announced, ignoring Tonks's protests.

"We heard from a … certain source … that this was how you two met," Fred added.

" _ Remus _ !"

The joyful laughter grew on. Even Andromeda, who had been pouting because of her daughter’s refusal to wear high heels and the fact that this wedding party was held in a fish-and-chip shop, was able to join in the fun.

It only died down when they heard the clinking sound of a champagne flute being hit by a fork repeatedly.

"I know it's hard to get our mind off that lovely cake, but there are some things that need to be said,” Black announced as he got up from his seat.

At this point, the only remaining conversation was of Hermione telling Ron to stop eating for a while.

"As the best man, today I had the honour to play a very important role in my best friend's wedding," he started off. "A role I almost failed, because 9 AM is always, always too early, Remus."

Lupin rolled his eyes mockingly at Black. 

"Now I want to begin by telling all of you a single fact about my best friend: He’s a very sad bloke. Not sure if it’s something he ate, read … but he always looked like the Queen herself had tasked him to kill a baby hamster or something like that."

_ Fuck you _ , Lupin muttered with a wide smile, as the laughter grew back again.

"But one day, about two years ago, I think … Changes happened. And it coincided with the appearance of one very special musician in our little band."

There was a loud "Awww" as the guests were able to guess where this was going.

"He was so mesmerised by this lady that, whenever we're having a rehearsal, I had to remind Remus, 'Mate. The audiences will be standing there …" Black pointed at one side. "'And her eyes are up here. So please. Mind where you're looking."

The laughter completely exploded as Lupin continued to mutter wordless profanities. 

"Interestingly, soon after, this lady also displayed the exact same symptoms as my best friend. Not only that I had to remind both of them on where to look, but I also have to warn them to keep their hands on their instruments!" Black waved his hands wildly.

At this rate, Mrs Weasley had to cover her daughter's ears for fear that things might get to raunchy for her liking.

"It annoyed me to no end. But today, I'm happy to say that the way these two are looking and touching each other … never changes."

The room became silent as the guests longed at the couple, who were staring into each other's eyes --and holding their hands tight under the table. But soon everyone's attention was back on Black.

"So … Remus. Tonks. May this journey be as beautiful as the music that we once played together," Black lifted up his glass. "And may you two always find love and peace in each other."

"Sirius …." Tonks looked like she was going to cry.

"Thank you, mate," Lupin muttered.

"And may you be blessed with children, who will give you headaches as much as you did when you were young. Cheers to the bride and groom!"

The guests raised their glasses --many were filled with apple juice because Lupin's students were certainly underaged-- and they toasted for the couple's happiness.

Putting down her champagne flute on the table, Tonks clapped her hands as a compliment to Black’s little speech.

For a split second, her mother’s eyes widened when she noticed that the contents of the glass were still full, but Black’s voice boomed across the room again. 

"Alright, who else got something to say about the couple?"

All eyes in the room darted around excitedly, curious about what other fun things they will get to hear about Tonks and Lupin. But they all widened in surprise when they noticed a young man lifting his hand hesitantly; his hands visibly shaking.

A warm smile grew on Lupin's face when he noticed him. "Yes, Neville?"

The boy knocked a champagne flute down the table when he stood up, but luckily Harry was quick to save it. After apologising endlessly, Neville fixed his standing position.

"I … I want to say something about Mr Lupin."

"Perhaps a little louder?" Hermione whispered.

"Oh. Yes. Sorry," Neville continued. "So … uh … I first met him on the first day of school, I think about a few years ago. And … he used to scare me."

Everybody in the room went silent. 

Leaning into the table, Lupin looked like he was going to take this more seriously. "Really? Why?"

"B-Because … Well, I never got picked for anything before. Be it lessons, or sports. Because I'm just not really good at them. But Mr Lupin asked me to answer questions. Then he asked me to lead a group assignment."

At this point, Lupin seemed to relax and his smile returned.

"No one ever did that before. No one ever trusts me that way. So … thank you, sir. And I wish you all the happiness in the world."

Neville looked like he was only too eager to get back to his seat, but Lupin stopped the boy to give him the warmest hug he could ever give.

\--

The next hours were all about music, food, and more laughter. 

Tonks took a turn to dance with both her father and Lupin; her new husband took the moment to ask some more private questions to her.

“How do you feel now?” 

The man leaned himself closer to her to whisper, “Not nauseous?”

Tonks shook her head, her eyes glinted with excitement. “No. Not at all. It’s really weird! It’s like … it knows. It’s a big day for Mummy, so needs to behave.”

Lupin smiled. “Such a good child.”

Tonks laid her head on his chest. “Must be taking from you.”

He was going to say something, but then a voice broke through the music. 

“Tonks! Tonks, the bouquet, please!” Ginny yelled. “Throw it to us!”

This opened the gate to a flood of girly voices, screaming and begging for the bride to throw the bouquet. Luckily Tonks was only too glad to do that.

Within the next minute, she was already standing in one end of the room with her back facing the crowd.

A very excited Ginny was standing proudly in the front, ready to use all of her athletic skills to make sure that the bouquet lands in her hand.

“Aren’t you too young for this!?” Ron yelled at his sister.

“Shut up!” she replied.

“Ready!?” Tonks yelled.

She was welcomed by more squealing, so the woman threw the bouquet to the back, where Ginny soared to catch it … But instead of securing it in her hands, she ended up tossing the bouquet away, where it almost landed --to Ron’s horror-- on Hermione’s hand … But she was not very fit so Tonks’s bandmate snatched it from her … Before her other bandmate tackled the girl, and the bouquet flew …

And landed on the lap of Minerva McGonagall, who was just done with her cup of tea.

It got quiet for a while, but the lady got up and went on with it. 

"Well. Someone should just tell me where to find them fine gentlemen."


	7. Week 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I will be travelling from the last week of September to the first two weeks of October, so there will be a great possibility of no updates during the period. But fear not, I'm not abandoning this fic! Just need time to focus on work T___T)

As Tonks sat inside the car that she hailed from the Portkey app, her smartphone kept on pinging with congratulatory messages.

This morning, the woman had just posted a picture on her social media of herself and Lupin. They were standing in front of a large mirror in the bedroom; he was hugging her from behind with his hands on her belly, highlighting the soft bump that had been gracing it in the past weeks. Tonks herself had her smartphone in one hand while making a three-finger salute with the other.

The caption of the picture read: "First family pic of us 3 ♥️🐺🐰👶♥️."

Now that she had entered the third month of her pregnancy --and had officially married the father-- Tonks finally felt comfortable about sharing the big news to the world. In fact, she was on her way to her parents' home to inform her mother directly of it, with a box of homemade roast beef as a gift. She had to take the Portkey because Lupin had forbid her from taking the bus or the train ("What if you can't get a seat!?").

Once she arrived, Tonks walked towards the door with a spring in her steps, for she came to bring good news for her mother. She knew that Andromeda had always wanted grandchildren; that day she was going to find out that her dream has come true.

"Mum! I'm here!"

"Is that you, Dora?"

"How many people get to call you 'Mum'?"

"I'm in the sunroom."

The woman moved towards the back of the house, where she found Andromeda sitting in front of a canvas placed on an easel.

Tonks smiled. She had inherited her artistic talents from her mother, who studied art history and used to work in a boutique. She was proud of that, though she could never understand why people of her mother’s age really enjoy drawing a bowl of fruit. 

She wondered which one of her --and Lupin's-- talents will be inherited by their baby.

"New painting?" She kissed her mother's cheek.

"It's an old one." Andromeda shrugged. "I just get to colour them now."

"Okay. I got you the roast beef that you really like."

Andromeda turned her head. "Thank you. Did Remus make that?"

Tonks sighed. Her mother had found out that Lupin was good with cooking; after that, Andromeda basically liked him more than her own daughter.

"Yes, he made that. He has a meeting in school today, but he sent his regards. And the beef."

Andromeda put her hand on her chest. "That's very kind of him. Tell him I said thank you."

"Okay."

"Please put that in the refrigerator. I'll heat them up for dinner. Thank you."

Andromeda followed her daughter to the kitchen, where she supervised her putting the meal into the refrigerator with a hawk-like stare. 

As she went through this process, Tonks wondered how to best convey the big news to her mother. She remembered when she got her first period and was so scared that she had to tell her father first, asking him to forward the news to her.

Perhaps she should have done that. But she was already here.

"Anyway, Mum, I have something to tell you."

"You're pregnant."

Tonks knocked down an apple inside the refrigerator. Once she had put it back in place, she stood up and slowly turned away from it.

Is this another one of Lupin's pranks? How could she know? Her mother was not on any social media and before that day, Black was the only person she had ever told about the pregnancy. They certainly did not talk, despite being distantly related.

"Y-you knew?"

Andromeda crossed her arms. "Do you honestly think I would not recognise the signs? Especially in my own daughter?"

"Well … no."

"You randomly put on weight. You did not drink the champagne at your own wedding. You wore an A-line skirt and those hideous boots. It is a classic trick to hide a baby bump."

Blushing, Tonks bowed down her head.

"How far along are you?"

"Fourteen weeks," Tonks answered, searching the inside of her purse, where she kept USG scans from her visits to the doctor. “Anyway, here’s a USG scan of ...”

“And you did not even bother to inform me about this?”

Tonks stopped searching. An uncomfortable sensation began growing inside her chest; one that tends to creep one whenever her mother uses _ that _ tone.

“But … I’m informing you now. That’s why I’m here.”

“Why only now? You’ve had USG scans. You’ve been to the doctor. You knew this all along, yet you didn’t tell me or your father.”

Words struggled to come out of Tonks’s mouth. “Well … Remus and I were not telling anyone. Before today.” Black knowing about it was an accident.

She suddenly had an idea. “Besides, m-most people don’t tell anyone until the third month, until it’s safe. That’s what we’re doing.”

Her mother turned herself away from her, grabbing a glass of water. “Non-sense.”

“Non- … What are you talking about!?”

Feeling a surge of fear, her hand instinctively went to cover her belly.

“Is this why you move your wedding date forward?”

Tonks felt like she had no choice but to say yes. 

This only angered Andromeda even more. The woman put down her glass of water harshly, and when she spoke again, her voice was filled with fury.

“I am so offended that you are doing this, Nymphadora.”

“Doing what!? I’m informing you about my pregnancy, what's so wrong about it!?”

“You didn’t tell me sooner! You delayed it! You didn’t even tell me why you have that silly wedding last week, when …”

“Don’t you dare to call it silly! It’s my wedding, Mum!” Tonks yelled. “And I swear, I had no intention of hiding anything from you! It’s just a matter of finding the time!”

“If your reaction is like this …” she continued.

“Stop treating me as if I am giving you burden!” Andromeda fired back.

“As if!? _As if_!? It wasn’t ‘as if’, Mum, you’re giving me burden! You always have this … expectation ... that everything …”

“Stop it! I’m disappointed in you.”

“Great! So do I!”

With that, a great silence fell between the two of them. The mother and daughter pair were steps apart, but they could feel the angry heat radiating from their bodies, trying to overpower each other.

Tonks was the first one to break the silence.

“You … you could have ... at least congratulate me.” She had to stop to catch up with her breath. “You know how hard it is for us! For Remus and I. To finally …”

“I would congratulate you if you are doing the right thing.”

Tonks gasped.

She had always known her mother to be a cold and proud woman; dealing with her had always been difficult. But even in her darkest nightmare, she would never dream about seeing this happened: Andromeda being unhappy about Tonks taking such a huge milestone as having a baby.

She should have, at least, giving her a congratulation.

She should have been excited. She should have been supportive.

With rage travelling through her system, Tonks ran away from the kitchen, and eventually the house. She ran. And ran. 

She would only stop when she found a bus stop with a seat in front of her. With bated breath, the woman reached for the seat, trying to secure a place for herself before she dropped to the ground. 

With shaking hands, she struggled --and failed-- to dial Lupin’s number on her phone.

When she finally managed to get through him, Tonks was already so lost in her tears, wailing so loud that she could not get a single word out.

\---

“Would you like another tea?”

“No …”

“Something to eat?”

“No, thank you. I just want to be alone.”

Lupin sighed. He was sitting on the edge of the bed in the master bedroom with a cup of tea in hand, tending to his grieving wife. 

When he found her in a bus stop on the street where her parents live, Tonks was crying so hysterically that she struggled to breathe and was about to faint. He had to bring her to the hospital to receive emergency treatment --and to check if the foetus was fine. Throughout the journey to the hospital, right before she actually fainted, she had been refusing to allow Lupin to ring her parents, leading him to believe that something must have happened between her and her mother.

And he was right. Once she had calmed down, she told him about her mother’s reaction to the pregnancy news and how it had hurt her so much. Seeing her in distress, Lupin kept quiet for he knew that this was not a time for advice. It was the time to listen, and if necessary, to give her space.

“I will be outside. Call me if anything, alright?”

“Thank you.”

Huddled under the blanket, Tonks was almost completely hidden except for her hair and her forehead. Before he left, Lupin leaned in to kiss her.

“You two are precious. Please remember that.”

The woman nodded. 

Only when the door was shut that she would finally able to pull the blanket away from her face.

For hours, she had wanted nothing but to disappear from this Earth. Never had she felt so hurt, so betrayed by someone in her inner circle --the very same person who had brought her to this place. The person who should have been her guide through this process.

But guess what? Fine. If Andromeda decided that she was too proud to forgive her for something that was not even a mistake, if she would not even care about her grandchild … then fine. Tonks would not search for her. She would not reach out to her with questions about childcare; hell, she would not even update her with the baby’s progress. Even the birth. She will give her silence if that is what she expects by treating her this way.

She had had enough. Let this pregnancy --and upcoming childbirth-- be a new chapter in her relationship with her mother. And that chapter contained nothing. 

Lying there in bed, Tonks reached out for her belly, rubbing it softly, trying to get its attention. 

_ Baby _ , she called. _ I’m so sorry that this has to happen _. 

She had made it a habit to talk to her unborn child, even if it were merely passing thoughts. But that night, she tried harder to convey the messages into the tiny being inside her.

She promised that, no matter what he or she does in the future, no matter how disagreeable their actions are … She will always love them, and be there for them. First and foremost.


	8. Week 17

“Remus …”

“Hmm.”

“Are you awake?”

“No.”

“You know, when I was in Tokyo, I had this ice cream ... It looked like tiny chocolate, but it had vanilla ice inside. It’s really good.”

“Mmm.”

“The baby wants to try it, Remus.”

“Tell baby to go back to sleep, Dora.”

“But the baby wants it now.”

“Okay. I’ll head off to Heathrow and fly to Japan in an hour. Thanks for the ticket.”

“No, you don’t understand! They have it here! I saw it once in this 24-hour supermarket in Willesden …”

There was a rustling sound of a blanket being moved.

“It’s 2 AM.”

“It is.”

“Kids don't eat ice cream at this hour.”

“Why not?”

“Because Dad said so.”

“Remuuuuuus.”

“Mmm!”

“Pleaaaaase.”

“...”

“Please. The baby’s crying in here.”

“Alright, alright! Stop pulling the pillow! What’s the thing called?”

“I don’t know. It’s in Japanese.”

“...” 


	9. Week 18

"Did you get to do it?"

Lupin popped the question as soon as his wife got into the house, just as she was hanging her studded leather jacket near the door. The woman just got back from a meeting in the studio with her bandmates.

"Yup. Done. Easier than I thought."

"And … what did they say?"

"They're okay." Tonks combed her hair with her fingers. "I mean, they know it's coming."

For a split second, Lupin looked as if he was going to cry for her. But the man proceeded to pull her into his hug instead.

"Thanks." She closed her eyes, getting herself lost in the comfort of his shape and scent.

"I'm here if you want to talk."

Earlier that day, Tonks had had a talk with her bandmates to announce her hiatus from the group for an indefinite period. 

For a while, she had been deliberating about how long she can continue to play the drums. The initial plan was until it would be physically impossible to do so. But their manager revealed that they have been booked to play in various cities all over the United Kingdom, even as far as Belfast. This mini-tour will start as early as next month --when Tonks will be at least five months pregnant.

Generally, as she entered the fourth month, Tonks began to feel better and stronger. Her nausea and headaches had lessened, and her appetite for food and sex had finally returned --with a vengeance. 

But the spike of energy lasted for only so long. She got tired way too easily these days that she had to take a nap after spending the morning cooking and getting the groceries.

This is why the thought of travelling to perform became unbearable for her. Also, there was still that inevitable problem of when her belly gets too big.

So a decision had to be made. There Tonks sat on the sofa with feet propelled on the coffee table, trying to make sense of one she just made.

"Wait here. I'll get your dinner." Lupin tapped her shoulder gently.

"Thank you, love."

She smiled at the attention given to her, knowing that not all expectant mothers were blessed with it.

It was impossible to hide her bump then. She was able to rock her favourite leather jacket, but underneath she could only wear jumper dresses these days. She also had to give up her combat boots for black Converse; sometimes even her husband had to help put it on.

Waiting for dinner to arrive, she picked up the phone to check social media. 

Her band had made the announcement of her hiatus as well as a call for an audition of her replacement. Mindlessly, she scrolled down the comments section, where one comment stuck out like a sore thumb:

_ Yea girl power and shit until you get knocked up and need an indefinite hiatus _

She was throwing her phone to the sofa when Lupin returned with two plates of spaghetti meatballs.

"Is something wrong?"

Tonks grumbled. "I read the comments section."

Snickering, he handed her the plate. "Well … you shouldn't."

Despite using a female pronoun, Tonks always considered herself as gender-fluid. But being born into a female body --that had been playing traditionally female roles such as being pregnant-- she found herself being subjected into rules, expectations, and all of the hard choices of being a woman.

The other day, she had to contemplate about the name that she would go with once she was married. Her husband was cool with whatever choices that she made, but she ended up going with Nymphadora Tonks Lupin. It was a bit too long for her liking, but at least did not make her feel like being erased. 

Such an odd and unnecessary problem to have as a woman.

"Remus. Am I doing the right thing? By taking this hiatus?"

Lupin swallowed his meal. "This is about the comment, isn't it?"

"I hate it, I've let it get into my head … but … yeah. I feel like one of those women, you know. If we're having a career, then we're selfish," she elaborated. "But if we're staying at home, then we're … wasting our potential."

"It's like you can never win. You always have to stretch yourself. You always have to prove that you're … cool or something," she continued.

Twirling the spaghetti on her plate, Tonks sighed deeply and stared blankly into her dinner.

"That does sound hard," Lupin commented. 

For a moment, he considered his words carefully. "I don't know if this is comparable, or if this will make you feel better … but back in university, I had a friend who wouldn't talk to me when she heard that I'm HIV positive."

"Tsk. People are so full of shit."

"Language, Dora. Remember." He pointed at her belly with a fork.

"Oops, sorry."

"Well, the point is … I learn that when people judge something that they don't understand …," Lupin continued. "It actually says a lot about their own selves."

Tonks's eyes widened. Her mouth was full but she was agreeing to his words wholeheartedly.

"So, what exactly did this comment say? Did he mock you for taking hiatus?"

Tonks nodded rapidly.

Lupin swung his fork around. "Fuckin' twat. What does he know about your life, anyway? That you're juggling two jobs, making a human being, and taking care of an ill husband? What's wrong with taking the time for yourself? I've never met a pregnant woman who doesn't take maternity leave!"

He continued on saying things he could not say in front of his students, making Tonks laugh harder with each new word.

"Remus! Language!"

The woman tapped the sofa loudly, her mood was definitely improved. Lupin laughed along with her, secretly proud of himself for being able to help.

Until he noticed a change in her expression again.

"Love?"

The smile faded, leaving nothing but shock and disbelief on her face. Her hand slowly reached out for her belly.

"Remus …"

This is no joke.

"Something happened?"

"The baby just kicked."

A fork was dropped to the floor.

"You're kidding."

"I'm serious! Over here! I … I felt it!" 

Putting her plate on the coffee table, Tonks grabbed her husband's hand and placed it on the lower part of her belly. Guiding his hand, she searched for the spot where the movement was first felt.

"Are you sure it wasn't food?"

"No! It's different! It's like … nothing else," Tonks replied. "It's very …"

And there it is: Underneath his palm, Lupin could feel a change in the surface of his wife's belly. First, the skin felt as if it was sucked in; then it protruded as if something inside was trying to breakthrough.

"Goodness!"

"See!? You can feel it, right?"

"It's baby! Baby's first kick! Hello, sweetheart!"

"Baby reacted to your swear words!"

The couple laughed and laughed until they got too tired for it. They would not let go of the part where the baby first showed its reaction, but after a while, Lupin pulled his wife into his hug again.

"People can go fuck themselves. Baby and I are with you all the way."


	10. Week 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (3 chapters! Weeks long travel starts ... Now! See you all again after October 20!)

Tonks and Lupin had an agreement: That if their baby turns out to be a boy, the honour of naming the child will be hers. And vice versa.

But it did not mean that the process was able to go on without any conflict.

"I'm going to name him Basil."

The mother-to-be announced in a fine afternoon as the couple sat in the waiting room of the hospital, looking forward to their turn to see the doctor. There were both finality and pride in the way she said it; her eyes twinkled as she waited for the father-to-be's reaction.

Upon hearing her statement, Lupin put down the brochure that he had been reading and turned towards Tonks. "As in, the herb?"

He looked like he had hoped for his ears to get it wrong.

"No, no. As in, the Sherlock Holmes actor. The old film, not the new one." Tonks waved her hands.

"Yes, I know. But still. It's a herb name."

A moment of silence passed between them.

"You don't like it," Tonks pointed out.

Lupin swung his hand. "Why would you name our son after a herb?"

"Why not? It's a good thing. It smells nice, and it's useful …"

"Cannabis also smells nice and is useful."

"Remus!"

A nurse passed in front of them, and she stared suspiciously at Lupin at the mention of the drug.

Tonks rolled her eyes with a "bloody hell" look adorning her face. 

"Dora, Rosemary is the only acceptable herb name."

"But it's like a horror film! Look, people named their kids after flowers all the time! So why not herbs? Or fruits?" 

Tonks hugged her belly defensively; a new habit she recently developed.

"Nobody named their kids Bananas!" Lupin yelled.

His voice was so loud that the person sitting next to him stared at him judgingly.

Once he was done apologising, Lupin turned back towards his wife, who was more than ready to fire back arguments. 

"Okay. So, if we're having a daughter, what do you plan to name her?" She challenged. "Please don't tell me you're naming her after book characters. Like Elizabeth Bennett or Madhatter."

Lupin crossed his arms. He changed his sitting position so that it enabled him to stare comfortably at the wall. "Well, I … I actually plan to name her Luna. You know, in honour of the girl …"

"What!?"

"Luna Elizabeth Lupin. It sounds beautiful, you gotta admit that." Lupin moved his finger as if he was writing the name on the wall.

"Not that!"

The man stared at his wife in confusion. "Luna Madhatter Lupin?"

But before Tonks could express her wrath, the nurse called her name. 

Getting up from her chair, she whispered angrily at her husband, "We're not done with this."

\--

"Hello, parents," the doctor greeted, her voice as bright as the morning sun as she went over Tonks's medical records. "So, how is week 20?"

"Week 20 goes really well, I think," Tonks answered, rubbing her belly in satisfaction. "I don't get nauseous as often. Only occasional headaches."

"Tell her about the gum thing," Lupin whispered.

"Oh yeah! My gum bleeds every time I brush my teeth. But I heard it's normal?"

The doctor assured that it was common, and went through all the checklists until the moment that they have been waiting for arrived.

"Hi, baby!" Tonks cheered when the black and white images appeared on the screen.

"Right, the foetus is now measured 17 centimetres from crown to rump," the doctor explained. 

She continued to analyse the images on the screen until she turned towards Tonks, who always refused to let Lupin's hand go every time they have a USG scan.

"So, have you decided about finding the sex of the baby?

"Yes! Yes, please, doctor," Tonks answered. "I don't think I can stand waiting and guessing."

"But I heard that the results can be inconclusive?" Lupin asked.

"Only when it is being done when the pregnancy is under 12 weeks. Or if there are instances when the baby's legs obscured the genitals."

Lupin chuckled. "So, the only way to be sure is when the baby arrives?" 

"Certainly. But if you choose to find out, it can be a great help. You know, with choosing names, baby clothes …"

Tonks poked her tongue out at Lupin at the mention of "names."

The man himself chose to ignore it. Turning towards his wife, his smile slowly grew. "So, are we ready?"

Tonks lifted up her fist. "Since yesterday."

Lupin turned back towards the doctor. "What she said, doctor." 

"Alright, here we go," the doctor began. "The part that you're seeing here is the tip of penis, right between the scrotums …"

Tonks made a jerky move to get up from the bed. "Wait! Does that mean …"

"You're having a boy."

\--

As Tonks took time to go to the restroom, Lupin decided to wait in the hospital's gift shop.

At a glance, he seemed to be considering something out of an array of flowers inside the shop. But the truth was that he was trying to distract himself, to prevent his tears from falling.

He was going to have a son. Him. Remus. Having a son!

He and Tonks had no preference of one gender over another. But the bigger the foetus was, the more they found out about him --the more realistic his existence was for them.

If anything, Lupin concluded that parenthood was all about understanding the little person that was coming into their life. From what his tears meant --Is he hungry? Need his diaper changed?-- to what his talents and purpose in life are, and what Lupin can do to help him get there.

He felt honoured to be on this journey. To have a soul chose Remus John Lupin to be his father; to protect, guide, and love him with all his strength and weakness.

He may still have to carry his anti-anxiety medicine in his pocket all the time, placed in a plastic box like his ARV medicine, but Lupin felt genuinely content these days.

He would not even care if his son will be named after a herb. Tonks already gave him the most precious gift anyone could ever give; this should be her prerogative. He would trust her decision.

After minutes of blocking the view of the flowers, the man began to feel self-conscious and moved to another part of the shop.

He was just about to leave when he noticed something particularly interesting near the cashier of the shop.

Later that night, when the couple finally arrived at 394 Wolfsbane Drive, the first thing Tonks did was to find a used glass bottle in the kitchen --and reused it as a makeshift vase for the red rose Lupin had bought her earlier that day.

Once done, she made a move to lay on the sofa in the sitting room, opening the second gift that her husband had given her: A paper bag containing a palm-sized, light brown bear plushie in a powder-blue T-shirt. 

The bear carried a small greeting card containing the message:

_ Mummy, _

_ Dad sent me to watch over a very special little boy. _

The message ended with a hand-drawn caricature of a bear, a rabbit, and a wolf.

Smiling to herself, Tonks cradled the bear in her hand for a moment, admiring how it fitted perfectly in there. As if it was made especially for her.

She traced every single detail on the bear: Its soft paw, dark eyes, curly fur. The minuscule T-shirt made of terry that it wore.

Bringing the bear to her face, she used her nose to tickle the bear, unable to contain the overflowing love inside her.

“Teddy,” she whispered as put it on her chest.


	11. Week 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Look what I got to fit in among my travels! LOL. Enjoy. Next chapter will most likely land end of Oct)

"You're naked."

Tonks pointed out when her husband walked out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was wet and there were still droplets of water on his skin.

When he sat down on their bed, where she had been lying with a comic book in hand, she knew that he only got one thing in mind.

"Well, I was in the shower and, uh …" he reached out to take the book away from her hand. "Couldn't stop thinking about that pregnant body. So, why bother?"

Once he had put down her book on the nightstand, he turned towards her and ---_damn_. Those eyes. 

She really could not stand it when he looked at her that way. Especially since he eventually picked up her hands and started to kiss her fingers. Slowly, mindfully. Using his lips to trace them with care.

Until he stopped to check her reaction.

"Unless you mind, of course." As always, his smile was sympathetic.

Letting go of her man's touch, Tonks found herself giggling softly at his consideration. "The pregnant body, eh?" 

To reward him, she slid down the strap of her white camisole, making sure to keep eye contact with the man. She bit her lip in excitement when his eyes lit up. "Is it the size? I can no longer wear my usual bra."

The woman's fingers were on her chest, tracing the skin lazily, tempting to pull down the fabric even further.

He had to take a deep breath to contain himself. "Well, that, and …"

Lupin reached out again to touch her chin, tracing down her neck and chest before stopping at her belly.

"Knowing that it's mine."

The couple kissed. Hungrily, he brought the kiss all the way to her shoulder, before his fingers finished what she did not. 

Her moans soon filled the room.

He stopped only to let go of the towel.

"Love …"

"Yes?"

"Tell baby to close his eyes? This is not for children to see."

She laughed. "Sssh. You'll wake him."


	12. Week 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I'M BACK!)

Harry just could not believe the sight that he was seeing.

It was Saturday night and the adults in his life are all sitting on the floor, circling a single piece of chocolate cake on a plate. Black was sitting on one side with a pack of flashcards in his hand. At his opposite was Tonks, who was rubbing her belly excitedly. Her husband was sitting beside her; he remained calm but there was this knowing smile on his face.

“Are you ready? This is a bonus round. Whoever wins this will get this culinary masterpiece by Honeydukes …,” Black swayed the cards towards the cake’s direction.

“Just get it over with, Sirius!”

“Alright, alright! Mum and baby can no longer hold it, so … Here’s the question.”

Tonks took a deep breath. Lupin looked like he was already certain of his victory.

“At what age will baby begin to self-feed?” Black had to make sure that his voice sounded like the typical quiz show presenters on TV.

“Ten months!” Tonks yelled at the top of her lungs. “Wait, no … Nine months?”

Peeking into the flashcards, Black arched his eyebrows and turned towards Lupin's direction. “Dad, do you have an alternative answer?”

“Yes. Eight months,” Lupin answered.

“AND WE HAVE A WINNER! Congratulations, Dad, you just won a Honeydukes chocolate cake!”

“What!? No …”

As per usual, the group was supposed to have their routine film night at 12 Grimmauld Place. But as a courtesy to Tonks, this week’s session was held at 394 Wolfsbane Drive instead. 

When Black stepped into the house, he stumbled upon a large pile of books on pregnancy and childcare in the Lupins’ living room. Snickering, he picked one of them up and found out that it had been highlighted with colourful markers. There were even Post-It notes inside the books with handwriting that looked extremely familiar. 

“Guess who’s been studying,” he commented as he made himself comfortable on the sofa. 

“It’s a very, very important exam,” Lupin responded. 

“We read at least four pages each night,” Tonks added. 

“Wonderful. Let’s see how well you do it, then.”

Thus the quiz began, and the films were completely forgotten.

Lupin may have come out as the winner, but instead of taking the cake for himself, he cut the cake and feed his wife with a spoonful of it.

“Eh?” was the only thing Tonks can manage when the cake landed in her mouth.

“I don’t need it,” her husband answered.

“You sure!?” 

Her mouth was still full.

“Yes. No matter how many books I read, nothing can ever beat a mother’s love.” With a grin, the man cut another piece and prepared to feed it into his wife. “So, here’s to the ultimate winner. Open your mouth. Say ah ..."

“Oh, stop it, you two made me wanna cry!” Black yelled.

The group laughed and cheered for the fun they had while Harry could do nothing but shake his head. The teen proceeded to turn on the television, feeling relieved that they can finally begin watching the films. 

He really did not give a damn about childcare and all that bollocks. It was none of his business.

Right?


	13. Week 24

“How’s the visit to Mrs Weasley?”

Having just arrived from work, Lupin walked into the kitchen to discover his wife busy with dinner preparation. The question came up in his mind as he had earlier stumbled upon a massive suitcase lying around in the living room; he had a feeling that the thing had something to do with Tonks’s visit to the Weasleys today.

“Oh, it was amazing!” she gave her man a kiss. “The original plan was to go shopping, right? But it turned out she still got baby clothes and diapers from Ron’s time at home. Even Ginny used to wear plenty of baby boy’s clothes.”

That explained the suitcase.

“Ha! Told you,” Lupin pointed out, opening the cabinet to take out plates and other eating utensils. “There’ll always be hand-me-downs. No need to shop.”

Tonks cringed, her mind still could not get over the ever-growing wishlist of baby stuff on her DiagonAlley.com account. 

She took a moment to focus on the gravy that she had been cooking before speaking again. “Oh, she also said something interesting about baby cots. In her experience, they’re not absolutely necessary …”

“Huh? So where did they sleep?” 

Lupin’s mind was filled with images of seven red-headed babies sleeping in different corners of the house, including the bathtub. 

“The parents’ bed,” Tonks answered, getting ready to pour the gravy into a bowl. “Bill slept in a baby cot, but they could never put Charlie in one. So, after that, all their babies slept in the parents’ bed."

She giggled. "You can imagine what it’s like when they got to the twins.”

“Oh, God."

Lupin rolled his eyes in exasperation. But deep inside, he was glad that his wife had someone to talk about motherhood with.

Because three months had passed and Tonks still refused to talk to her own mother. 

Personally, Lupin never wanted to bring this up in a conversation. But every morning when they got ready for work, he stole a glimpse to his wife’s fingers and noted the rings that she put on that day, for they reflected the aspects in her life that she considered important. There was always the wedding ring, the engagement ring. The mood ring she had worn since she was fifteen. The one she bought with her bandmates in their tour. She put all of them on but one: The small, silver ring that her mother gave her. 

Lupin never wanted to be that kind of man who decides what is good for his wife. But that morning, without her knowledge, he made a call to arrange a lunch meeting with a particular person.

-

When Lupin walked into the posh Italian restaurant that day, Ted Tonks stood up and greeted him with a massive grin.

“There he is!”

The two gentlemen shook their hands warmly. Ted pointed out a seat for Lupin to sit on, and a waiter immediately poured water into his glass.

“Yes, thank you, lad. Phew! Can’t believe I had to find a table in the corner just to meet my son-in-law.” Ted shook his head.

“What do you mean?”

“My wife’s friends! They like to show up at places! Can’t risk Andy finding out about this, can we?”

Lupin nodded. “Right. I didn’t tell Dora as well. She thought I had lunch in school, as always.”

Opening up the menu, the gentlemen gave each other a knowing smile. They did not say anything again until they had ordered something: A plate of pasta for Lupin and a huge portion of roast chicken for Ted. 

Once the waiter had left, Ted folded up his arms and leaned in towards Lupin.

“So! I heard that I’m having a grandson …”

The twinkle in Ted's eyes made Lupin smile. So he lifted up a finger before reaching inside his bag to take out a thick journal, the kind that one can easily find in bookstores. 

When Ted opened it, he was greeted by colourful, hand-drawn letters that said: “Baby Journal.” He continued on to the first page, where he found a USG scan being pasted on it. Next to the scan, just like in comic books, Ted found a character introduction page which included a caricature version of his daughter and Lupin --being introduced as Mum and Dad in the journal. 

In the next page, Ted saw a comic of Tonks having her morning sickness with an explanation of how the couple first found out about her pregnancy. 

The next one or two pages featured more stories on the pregnancy, written in a similar style. But eventually Ted got into a page where it is written like in a typical diary: It started with a date and a "Dear Baby …", followed by a neat paragraph detailing the stories from the father's point of view.

“I think it was clear who wrote what,” Lupin tried to hold his laughter.

“Always talented, that kid.”

Lupin dared himself to look into his father-in-law’s eyes, and he noticed that there were crystals in them.

He coughed. "You know … you don't have to distance yourself from her. She has no issues with you."

"In fact, I think she is going to appreciate you reaching out to her," the man added.

Ted slammed the book shut. "Do you think we should bring them together? Force them to sit down and work out their problems?"

"Because … you see, this is becoming hard for all of us. We have to do something," he continued. 

The waiter delivered food to their table, preventing Lupin from saying what was on his mind. Luckily, once their food was all set, Ted continued on speaking.

"At least that is what I believe in. To be honest, with my wife and daughter, things can get really unpredictable," he said. "So, what do you think? Should we interfere?"

"I agree with you on the unpredictable part. In fact, for as far as I've known Dora … I don't think it's going to end well to force her to do anything," Lupin answered, mixing his plate of pasta together. 

But then he decided against putting the food in his mouth. "It would be wiser if we can get her to think that she made this decision herself."

"Do you think so?"

"Yes," Lupin answered firmly. "Which is why … I recommend you to speak to her. Just … get her to think how good it is to have her parents around."

-

_ "Remus!" _

Lupin blinked furiously. Once his sight focussed, he realised that he was standing in the kitchen, with his wife already sitting by the table. 

"You're spacing out. Are you okay?" Tonks asked.

"Oh, sorry," he muttered, pulling a chair. "Was … was just thinking of work."

"A hard day?" She asked, helping him with mashed potato.

"That's enough, thanks, love … Yes, kind of."

Lupin pretended to be busy to prevent himself from having to lie again. Luckily, Tonks started out saying something.

"Anyway, guess who called today."

"Hm?"

She could not resist giving the answer. "It's Dad. This afternoon, just as I arrived."

That was fast.

"Oh. Been a while since we last heard from him. How is he?"

Tonks rambled on about her father and his golfing hobby and how the man was generally doing well. At the end of her speech, she sighed and stared at her food. 

"I'm happy he called."

"He loves you."

"Yeah. And I thought he was on my mother's side. Turned out he didn't call because he thought I was mad at him." The woman took a second helping of mashed potatoes. "But certainly I wasn't."

Lupin wondered if this would be the right time to bring it up. "Anyway, regarding that …"

"It's a no, Remus."

There were sounds of utensils clinking.

"I have made up my mind. The way she made hers when she was young," she continued.

That night, Lupin laid awake in bed thinking about karma and how the deeds that he had done might come back to him in such a way. 

He was glad to say that at least he had a good relationship with his parents when they were alive.


	14. Week 25

Lupin silently laughed to himself. Sitting on his late father’s armchair, he took out his smartphone and took a picture of his wife as she lay on the sofa.

Staring unblinkingly into the television, she licked off a small spoon of yoghurt --her new favourite afternoon snack-- with the tub balanced on her pregnant belly.

She had been doing this for a while that Lupin was able to create a special folder in his phone of his wife putting on weird things on her belly. From her own phone, the bear plushie that he gave her, to a piece of bread. She would even use it as a bookmark when she was reading.

He was determined to show her these photos when she had delivered the baby, but he could not hold it anymore.

"Love. Please stop using our baby as a table."


	15. Week 26

Tonks made a jerking move when the blanket was pulled away abruptly from her. Gasping for breath, she hastily tried to bring the bear plushie even closer to her hug.

"What's going on here?"

Throwing the blanket to the other side of the bed, Lupin's emotion was a mix of both annoyance and concern.

The woman had been lying in a foetal position on her bed, covered from head to toe with the blanket. It has been hours since she arrived home but she was still wearing the leggings and T-shirt that she wore to the maternal yoga class that day; her face was sticky with both sweat and tears.

She wiped the tears away from her face, but it was too late. The fact that her husband managed to uncover her hiding meant that he had heard of her crying all along.

"I … I …"

"You haven't been watching animal videos again, have you?" 

Because last week, she was induced to tears just by seeing a video of baby bats in an animal sanctuary. But seeing how she continued on wailing and hugging the bear plushie, Lupin concluded that this time the case was rather serious.

Shaking his head, the man got on the bed to give his wife a hug. "Oh, come here you …"

"Remus … I … I …"

He rubbed her back. "Take a deep breath. Come on. You'll hurt yourself if you keep on doing that."

Tonks pulled herself away from her husband's hug; the bear plushie rolled down to their bed. Closing her eyes, she took a moment to focus on her breathing --until her crying toned down into a slight hiccup. 

With her hands covering her face, she fell back into his hug again.

"Care to share?" He kissed her lightly on the temple.

"It's … It's Sarah …"

Since the beginning of her pregnancy, Tonks had been taking a maternal yoga class at a nearby birth centre. She made friends with fellow mothers-to-be in the place, but one was particularly close to her. Her name was Sarah; she was of the exact same age as Tonks, and her pregnancy was only about a month older than her. They would go and have tea together after classes, and Tonks was happy to find a comrade in her journey into motherhood.

But that day, she noticed that Sarah was absent. After class, she wondered aloud to the other people in the room, who came back with a rather cold "Oh, haven't you heard?"

Turned out Sarah had given birth early due to a health problem. The worst part was that her baby did not survive the ordeal; she had been unreachable ever since then.

Tonks was left so brokenhearted.

"I'm sorry to hear that, love." Lupin pulled her even tighter into his hug. "It must be hard for her."

"I … I can't … Sarah, oh, poor thing … she lost her baby!"

Her tears came back again. "What if that happens to us?"

" _ Dora _ !"

"I'm scared, Remus! I'm scared!" 

Lupin rubbed her back again, this time with more force. "Now, now! That's pushing it too far, no? We're doing fine. Nothing bad is happening to baby and you."

"I don't want to lose Teddy! I can't live without him!"

"Teddy?"

There was a moment of silence as Tonks stopped wailing to pick up the bear plushie. Shoving it towards her husband, she stared at him with pleading eyes, begging him to understand.

Luckily, he had known her enough to get it immediately. So a smile grew on his face.

"Is that what you decided to call him?" 

She nodded.

"After the bear?" At least his son was not named after a herb. Phew.

She turned the bear to face her and fixed its minuscule blue T-shirt. "Because he's a gift from you to me. Like the bear."

Lupin reached out to handle the bear. As it plopped into his hand, his smile grew wider. 

His mind was filled with images of a little boy in a minuscule blue T-shirt. The child would be busy playing in the backyard, but he would turn his head when Lupin called out his name.  _ Teddy _ .

He would stumble as he tried to run towards his father, and his hand would be dirty from playing with mud, but Lupin knew that he would be proud of him regardless. For the little boy was his. His soul, his joy …

Unfortunately, the images disappeared as Tonks returned to her wailing.

"That's why I don't want to lose him! Remus, promise me! If something happens, you will put his life over mine!"

She dropped herself on his lap, where his trousers were soon moist with her tears and sweat. At this point, he could only sigh.

"Hey. Please don't say things like that."

“But …”

“Dora …”

“But I …”

“Dora! Listen!” 

She rolled herself around to face him. This time her tears actually stopped.

“Yes?”

Lupin sighed. “Listen. Even if something bad happens, there’s nothing that we can’t fix. Alright?”

“You think so?”

“Yes. And please, no more dreadful things. I understand that you're sad, and you need to cry it out. But that part? It's not helping anyone."

Another moment of silence passed between them as Tonks played with her fingernail, looking very much like a child caught in the act of ruining the wall with her crayons. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Besides, we've both agreed that overthinking is more of my thing."

" _ Remus _ ."


	16. Week 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I once saw that behind-the-scene video of David Thewlis wearing his own glasses while still in costume. I can't get over it. I just had to write about it. Over and again)

Lupin took out his glasses from its case. This was almost embarrassing, but all those years of reading in bed had finally caught up with him. He needed the glasses almost every time he read something --it made him feel old.

The man proceeded to open his laptop as he sat in a corner in the crowded coffee shop. Christmas carols blasted through the air and the visitors would not stop talking, but there was something strangely blissful about writing in a coffee shop, that Lupin wondered why he did not do it more often.

Not many people knew this, but Lupin wrote a lot. 

It all started when the man was little and had exhausted the children books collection in his parents’ personal library. Instead of taking him to the bookstore, his father handed him an empty notepad and asked him to write his own stories instead. 

By the time he was seventeen and had started the band with his best friends, Lupin already had notepads full of poems, song lyrics, and stories. He had made it a habit to chronicle his thoughts that when he had to undergo treatment for HIV, it only felt natural to document the whole process in a journal.

Then the internet era came. One night, Lupin randomly had this idea to make his journey slightly more public.

Using the alias Romulus (“42. Cis male. Bisexual. London. School teacher and musician”), for years he had been documenting his treatment in a blog --cheekily titled “Furry Little Problem”. 

There are days when his updates were nothing more but a few paragraphs on the symptoms that he felt that day, but there are times when he would write lengthy posts. Like when he found out that his wife was pregnant (and negative). And that embarrassing meltdown he experienced in the early weeks. 

When Lupin restarted the treatment for his anxiety problem this year, the blog served as a great tool to track his progress. Sitting in a crowded cafe on a Friday night, the man scrolled through the posts that he had published within the last four months.

His eyes lit up when he noticed that the last time he had an attack was more than three weeks ago. This came up as a good news as previously, there were moments when the attacks happened on an almost daily basis.

He was just about to write another post when a familiar voice came through.

“Sorry I was late!”

Lupin lifted up his head and smiled. Completely ignoring the fact that she had prevented him from writing another post. She had that power over him like that. Even as she huddled herself in a ridiculously colourful woollen shawl, with her pregnant belly peeking out from underneath her leather jacket. 

“How’s the day?” he motioned for her to sit next to him.

“Oh, it was okay, I guess … But!” Tonks lifted up the thing that she had been carrying. Lupin immediately recognised it as a plastic bag from a popular mother and baby retail shop. “Sorry. I can’t help. Christmas sale.”

He chuckled. “What is it this time?”

Tonks lifted up a finger and dug into the bag to get its content out. Her husband’s laughter grew louder when he saw the yellow and black striped onesie for a baby.

“Teddy will be the most good looking baby in town.” She folded the clothes back into its bag. 

“He'll create plenty of buzzes."

“Yeah … anyway, I’m famished. Can we get food?”

“Sure. What does he want?”

A moment later Lupin left the table to order food for his wife. When he came back, she was staring into his laptop screen with curiosity in her eyes.

“You know …,” Tonks pointed out as he took a seat. “One day, you should consider publishing this.”

“It’s published, love.”

She rolled her eyes. “As a book, you dingo.”


	17. Week 29

In his dream, Lupin was being hit and dragged across the tarmac by a taking-off aeroplane. 

Its deafening sound filled himself with dread, and the man fell deeper in fear as he opened his eyes --and discovered that the noise was still there. There, in his bedroom. Following him from the dream, despite the fact that he was supposed to be safely tucked under the blanket.

Getting up in haste, he gasped upon the realisation that his wife was not there with him. Where was she? What time was it? What, 1 AM? So what was that maddening sound? Where was Tonks?

With a blinding headache, he moved to grab his bathrobe and walked away from the room.

It was bright as day downstairs, where he finally found the source of the noise.

Inside the living room, Tonks was perfectly awake. She still wore the T-shirt and pyjama bottoms that she had worn to sleep, her pregnant belly peeking out from underneath the garment. But instead of resting, the woman was perched on top of the sofa, trying to clean its surface with a gigantic vacuum cleaner.

Lupin could only rub his face exhaustedly. "Dora …"

She could not hear through all the noise.

"Nymphadora!"

The noise finally stopped.

Turning towards her husband, Tonks's smile grew as she tried to get up from her position. "Oh. Hello. Did I wake you up?"

"Yes, and my ancestors as well."

Interestingly, his married colleagues have all warned him about this. There will be a day when her nesting instinct kicks in, they said. She would want to make sure that her home is in the best condition to welcome the baby, and it will involve a lot of work.

For most of them, the phase went by just fine. Some cleaning, a lot of shopping. But the rest of them were not so lucky --apparently, Lupin fell into the latter category.

But as he opened his mouth to warn his wife against making more noises, Lupin found the voice of Arthur Weasley ringing through his ears.

_ Remember, Remus. There's only one rule in marriage: Happy wife, happy life! _

This made him stopped for a second.

"I'm sorry. Was it too loud? I was trying to sleep but then I got restless … and … and then I thought of dusting the floor …"

"It's fine."

"Eh?"

"Yes, it's fine. Alright. So, have you cleaned that table?"

"Uh. No."

"Okay, then you clean that table. I'll continue with the vacuum. It's too heavy for you."

With a grin, Tonks handed the vacuum cleaner to her husband, who proceeded to work immediately. 

Because if you cannot fight it, then you better work with it.


	18. Week 31

That was it. He could not take it anymore. 

If it was not the end, then he would make sure it was.

Lupin splashed the water onto his face and took a moment with his hands covering it. Trying to get a deeper breath. Counting from one to ten. Remembering where he was. Basically, the things that he had learned in therapy.

Damn, he really should not have written or said anything about feeling better, about finally getting over his anxiety. Because one stumble and he would fall down. Just like today.

One semester had passed with him being a deputy headmaster; doing something that he had never done before. Basically, his review came out well. McGonagall was really happy with his performance, so were his peers. He only got to teach classes once or twice a week maximum, so he found himself interacting with the students differently. They came up to him with proposals of events, or when two people are having a fight. And they were tons of Excel sheets, and numbers to deal with. Tons of them. 

There seemed to be reasons to celebrate, and he would love to. But he could not. He just … could not. 

No matter how hard he worked, he kept on seeing things that should have been better, being reminded of tasks he did not get to complete. Marks he should have made. Standards he did not get to reach. Not only that it felt too early to celebrate anything, but it also felt inappropriate.

So there he was, in the headmaster’s restroom. Trying to put himself together. For the new semester has started, and he already feels like quitting the job and burying himself somewhere. Because he was so far behind. He was not, never the right man for the job. He should have left. 

Lupin was about to walk out from the restroom, feeling determined to end it all, when a message came into his phone.

_ Baby T said hi <3  _

_ We r having lunch here n we miss u _

Closing his eyes, he took another deep, long breath before eventually walking out of the restroom. 

The strangest thing about being a father is that your successes and your failures are no longer yours. Somehow, this knowledge had prevented Lupin from giving up and embarrassing himself for the second time.


	19. Week 32

Lupin opened up the refrigerator and checked the contents inside. The Japanese ice cream that he had bought for his wife months ago were still around; there were at least two boxes of them. 

Luckily their expiration date was still long ahead. Perhaps he would hand them out to Harry or his colleagues tomorrow.

He remembered being so determined to accommodate Tonks’s needs (and demands) while she was carrying their child --that he actually bought more than what was asked. Then went home to find out that his wife no longer craved the ice cream. That was a lot to take for 4 AM. 

He made a mental note to bring this up when Teddy turns fourteen and refuses to do the house chores.  _ I woke up before sunrise to buy you this ice cream, now go and make your bed _ . Something like that.

Anyway.

It was almost midnight and Lupin did not get to the kitchen to peek into the refrigerator; it was just a distraction. He was actually waiting for the hot chocolate in the saucepan to a simmer.

Once it happened, he stirred the content, pour them in a cup, and left the kitchen for the sitting room. 

Ever since she first moved to 394 Wolfsbane Drive, a corner in the ground floor had been transformed to become Tonks’s mini-studio. Apart from her working desk, it also included an easel for her paintings, but unfortunately, she had not been cleared to work with oil paint. So, she was stuck doing a digital drawing on her computer at the moment.

Either way, it was always a pleasure for Lupin to see her being so adsorbed on her work like this. 

Trying not to make any noise, he placed the cup on the nearby table. But she suddenly turned towards his direction.

“Oh. Sorry. Did I disturb you?”

“No, not at all! I was just about to finish.” She turned back to add some strokes on her pen tablet.

“Alright. Anyway, that’s yours.” He mindlessly waved at the cup. “Try not to sleep too late?”

“Yay, thanks! You’re so sweet.”

“Anything, love. I’ll be just right there.”

He had just dropped himself on the sofa when she called him back.

“What do you think of this one?”

She dragged her chair away so that Lupin could see the works that she had been doing. He narrowed his eyes --damn, where the hell were his glasses?-- and learned that it was of a rabbit being lost in a big city.

“There’s always a rabbit.”

“It represents me.”

“You’re lost in this city? Your own hometown?"

“Not literally!”

Laughing, Lupin moved to the mini-studio to give her a hug from the side. Tonks responded by closing her eyes and rubbing his hands slowly.

“What do you feel lost about?” He gave her a kiss.

Tonks sighed. “Some things …”

The woman lifted her head to face her husband. “Remus. Should I quit my day jobs?”

Lupin had actually wondered about that ever since they first met. Despite having a university degree, Tonks worked two minimum wage jobs to support herself. This happened because she quit a prestigious job at an advertising agency some time ago; in addition to pursuing an art career, she also felt that the job was literally killing her. 

But instead of having the actual freedom to create, her bills piled up before her instead, which led her to the jobs at the tattoo parlour and Mrs Weasley’s fish-and-chips shop. 

When they began dating, Lupin asked her if there was really a need for her to work so hard --especially since he was more than willing to help support her financially. But the woman declined it. She was proud of her ability to stand on her own two feet, and she was determined not to touch his money --unless they were married and sharing the load or something.

“What’s with the change of mind?” Lupin leaned on the desk, facing her.

Tonks’s hands moved towards her belly as if it was the obvious answer. “Things will be different once he arrives.”

“Even after the maternity leave, I’ll need to devote more time to take care of him. I know that you'll help me, and there'll be daycare and stuff. But still … some things have to go.” She turned towards the easel on the corner. “But not them.”

Lupin crossed his arms. "You've made up your mind."

Tonks shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not sure. I mean … I feel like it's time to do more meaningful work. Also, Mrs Weasley has been a family to us, but the work can be soul-crushing."

"Are you worried about our financial situation?"

Tonks bowed down her head. "Sorry."

Surprisingly, her husband laughed instead. "Honey. We're fine. I'm no longer an underpaid teacher."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. We've been living off the salary alone. And yes, my medical bills can be overwhelming. Sorry about that. But royalties from the band's albums are still coming in." He pulled her into his hug. "It's not much, but we're fine."

He did not want to tell her yet about the plan to pitch his blog into publishers.

"So, if you want to quit, this is actually the best time for it." Lupin messed up Tonks's hair. 

"Do you think so?"

"Yeah. Who knows? Once you got more time for your art, your music … they will start bringing you money." He shrugged. “It took three albums for The Marauders to finally make money back then. Hard, but not impossible.”

"Thanks, love."

"No problem."

With an enlightened mood, Tonks rubbed her cheek on her husband's knitted jumper. "You're so wise. I like you."

"It's nothing, dear."

"This is why I married an old man."

"You mean  _ older _ ."

"No. Old man."


	20. Week 34

Tonks loved the fact that when she walked into the supermarket, she had those great British punk songs from the 1970s following her steps.

Never mind that she was the only person who can hear it --because the music was from her own headphones-- and her steps were heavy from carrying a cantaloupe melon-sized baby in her belly. All that mattered was that she still got it; she was young and rebellious and being eight-and-a-half months pregnant would not change that.

Also, they were going to have salmon for dinner tonight. All was good in the Tonks-Lupin household.

Humming to herself, she started with the vegetable section where she grabbed packets of potatoes and asparagus. Moving to the dairy section, she took in tubs of yoghurt --her new favourite snack-- and wondered if she should have gotten that block of cheese. 

Pushing her trolley, she finally got to the seafood alley, where she caught sight of a large freezer box in the middle of the room --with a sign that had the word “salmon” and “special price” on it.

“That’s it, Teddy. That’s our dinner.”

She took off her headphones and sped up with her trolley, because she noticed that some other customers had started to pile up around the freezer box, and nope, Nymphadora Tonks Lupin would be the one to come home with the best cuts for her family. The rest of them can just go away. 

This is why her heart sunk a bit when she got her hand on a piece of salmon and found that another hand had also touched it.

Her heart sunk even deeper when she lifted her head and thought she was staring into a mirror. 

“Shopping for dinner?”

Tonks pulled her hand away as if the salmon was contaminated --after it had touched her mother’s hands. 

Not waiting for her daughter to make any reaction, Andromeda Black Tonks put the salmon into her trolley. “Funny, I’ve also thought of salmons …”

Tonks still refused to answer. She felt her blood boiling and her breath quickened; words formed inside her mind but none of them was very nice to say.

“You’re not going to say anything to your mother? That’s not very nice, is it?” Andromeda said.

Touching her belly defensively, Tonks prepared to steer her trolley away. “Well, I wonder who raised me to be like this.”

She proceeded to walk away from the freezer box. Away from her mother, who also took no time to wait. With hurried steps, the elder woman moved farther and farther from the spot …

Until she stopped and turned around. 

Tonks might never know it, but when she did, Andromeda was actually trying to count her daughter’s due date, based on what she knew of the pregnancy. When she noticed that the date was near --and the fact that Tonks seemed to be struggling to walk already-- something passed on her face.

She looked like she was trying to call her daughter but then decided against it. 

Meanwhile, back at 394 Wolfsbane Drive, for some unexplainable reason, the salmon dinner was cancelled.


	21. Week 37

Harry had to wait in front of the door for at least 15 minutes before it was opened. 

When it finally happened, Tonks greeted him with a hug and her usual cheerful self (“Wotcher!”). But when they walked into the house, the teenager could not help noticing that the woman had been walking with a waddle --apart from having one hand on her lower back all the time, she seemed to be experiencing pain with every step.

“Sorry I took a forever,” Tonks said as if she was reading his mind. “It’s … quite heavy.”

“Hey. No problem at all. Take your time.”

“To be brutally honest … I’m sick of being pregnant,” Tonks continued. “I mean, I love my child and all that, but I’m so done with my body doing weird things. Can you believe it? The other day, I was at the shop, and there was this baby crying … And my boobs just started to get wet …”

Harry purposely censored the last part of Tonks’s rambling in his mind, so he did not have to hear details about her bodily functions. When he was ready to listen again, they had made it to the sitting room, where the host immediately dropped herself on the sofa. 

“Oh, that’s nice … Get yourself a drink, alright?” Tonks waved at the direction of the kitchen.

“Yeah, don’t worry about that. Thanks.”

Once he was settled, Harry dug through the content of his rucksack and took out a bottle of red wine from it. “Anyway, Sirius told me to drop this …”

“The wine, isn’t it? Thanks! Too bad I can’t have them now.” Tonks gestured for Harry to put the bottle on a nearby coffee table. “Anyway, are you old enough to drink? Once the baby is born, let’s go out. Just the two of us, and I’ll teach you …”

Harry expected the woman to continue on rambling as before, but her words were cut short instead. 

In front of him, the woman closed her eyes and wrinkled her nose, groaning and biting her lips. 

“Tonks?”

It took her another minute before she can finally stop groaning; as her expression relaxed, Tonks took a long, deep breath while keeping a hand on her belly.

“Are you okay?”

The woman sighed. “Yeah … I’m … I’m fine. Phew. That happened again.”

“What happened again?”

“It’s called Braxton-Hicks contractions. Basically it’s a false alarm … So you feel this pain as if you’re having a contraction, but it’s not. It’s been like this since yesterday.”

Harry cocked his head. “What’s a contraction?”

A smile grew on Tonks’s face when she realised that there was no way the boy could be familiar with such a thing. “Oh … It’s that pain you feel when you’re about to give birth. But this one is false, not the real thing.”

This sent chills down Harry’s spine.

“F-False? But … But how do you know it’s false?” 

“Yeah, well … There are ways to tell. That’s why we have to count this … Ouch. Ouch! Ugh. Again.”

The woman continued to wrinkle her nose as Harry was forced to sit there and watch it happen.

This did not look good at all. In addition to that, the chills that Harry felt earlier had made a permanent stay in his stomach.

“Where’s Remus?” 

The boy asked the question, but he secretly wished that there was no need for him to hear the answer. 

“At school.”

“But it’s Saturday!” 

“Yeah. There’s this meeting, and he … Oh! Oh. Goodness!”

“Tonks!?”

“Oh, God.”

Harry got up from his seat. “Okay, what’s going on here?”

The boy could no longer help himself. Standing in that room, he balled his hands into fists as he waited for the woman to give her reply --but she just sat there with both of her hands on her belly, her head bowed down.

When she finally lifted her head, there were fears in her eyes. 

“Harry. My waters broke.”

—

Lupin was humming softly to himself when he opened the door to his office. Now that the meeting is done, he could finally get ready to go home and be with his wife.

Well, last night was quite tense. During dinner, Tonks suddenly dropped her spoon because she felt this sharp pain on her belly --which was not unexpected as she had entered the ninth month of the pregnancy. But luckily, they did not panic. Instead of rushing to the hospital, they counted the duration of the contraction and did the breathing exercise as told in classes …

And the pain ended. The baby showed no signs of arrival, and the couple was able to move on with their night peacefully.

Tonks was perfectly fine when he left home for work that day. But Lupin wondered how she was, for it had been hours since they last texted, and he wanted to make sure that she was alright.  Also, he heard that Harry is coming. So he had to check that as well. 

But when he was just about to dial her number, someone at the door knocked. 

Placing his smartphone on the desk, Lupin walked towards the door to find McGonagall looking for him. 

The two were soon involved in a deep and serious conversation that Lupin failed to notice that his smartphone had been vibrating with an incoming call.

—

Harry honestly thought that the kind of situation that he was facing that day could only exist in films. 

The boy moved around in panic as Tonks instructed him to get all the things that she would need --and he got to move really quick. He had to run upstairs to the couple’s bedroom to get Tonks fresh clothes, as she cleaned herself in the bathroom downstairs. 

Going through her underwear rack was definitely not something Harry would keep in his memories forever.

When he returned downstairs, he was relieved to hear that since days ago, Lupin had already prepared a suitcase for the trip to the hospital, and it had everything that the mother (and the baby) would need. The man even had a piece of paper placed nearby, filled with instructions on what to do when the baby arrives --the route to take to the hospital, the breathing exercise that she will need to do. 

But when Harry picked it up, his mind was so full that he failed to recognise any word written in there. Meanwhile, there was still one thing that he needed to do.

Using Tonks’s phone, the boy cursed as he kept on failing to get Lupin to pick up the phone. 

Where is that idiot of a man? This made Harry think of what happened months ago when Lupin experienced that nervous breakdown. Don’t tell him he …

But Harry was then distracted by the sound of a car stopping in front of the house.

“Tonks, that’s the cab!”

With care, Harry held the woman’s hand as he helped her to get into the cab. He then hurried back to the house to get the suitcase; as he ran, Tonks yelled at him to pick up a small bear plushie in her bedroom upstairs. 

With a large suitcase in one hand and a bear plushie in another, Harry rushed out of 394 Wolfsbane Drive and jumped into the cab.

—

Meanwhile, in front of the school, Lupin also found himself rushing and jumping into the first cab that he saw.

Less than five minutes ago, the conversation that he had with McGonagall was finally done, and he was able to return to his office --to find out that there were already more than ten missed calls from Tonks. Even before he got to dial back, the phone vibrated again, and he picked it up to find Harry screaming to his ears about his wife being in labour.

His colleagues cheered and clapped when he hurried past their desks --and briefly mentioned why he needed to go (“Baby’s coming!”). 

When he got into the cab, Lupin was so excited that he actually laughed to himself.

But knowing his own personal tendencies, he decided to close his eyes and leaned back for a moment, trying to control his breathing --and eventually, his emotions. The adrenaline rush was still there, but he knew that it could turn into a blast of anxiety once his mind recalled all the things that could possibly go wrong. Like, if his wife was in a lot of pain …

_ Okay. Calm down. Everything is fine _ , he told himself.  _ Even if it’s not, everything will end up being fine … we will get there in time, and ... _

So he opened his eyes and got himself a mini heart attack when he realised that the cab was not moving.

“What’s the matter?”

“Ah … There’s an accident. A car crash, I think.”

Lupin turned his head to see behind the cab, and he found out that there was already a long line of vehicles waiting behind them. He was basically stuck in a traffic jam --without any sign of when the accident site would be cleared.

“Fuck,” he declared to himself.

—

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Tonks was walking along the corridor in a hospital gown and an IV drip in one hand.

When she arrived there, the midwife immediately checked her condition. The good news was that she was already in the early stage of labour; her contractions had been constant  and strong. But the bad news was that her cervix had not been fully dilated. This meant that the baby’s arrival was still hours away.

So the midwife instructed her to try sitting on a large rubber ball or walking around to help speed up the process. 

Since she got bored too easily, she opted to take a walk around in the maternity ward with Harry standing close by.

“How do you feel?”

“In pain.”

“Err. Okay. Do you want to return to the room?”

“Nah. It’s okay. I’ll deal with it.”

“Alright.”

As he walked down the corridor with her, Harry could not help noticing that all eyes were on him. When they walked past the registration desk, the two nurses shared a knowing smile. Then they bumped into a couple who was also waiting for labour; both of them pretended to look away when Harry accidentally made eye contact with them.

It did not take him long to realise what it meant, especially when Tonks started to chuckle.

“I think they thought you’re the father.”

“What!? No!”

“Yeah, like a teen dad or something. With a spiky-haired and heavily pierced older girlfriend.”

“But I’m not …!”

Seeing his reaction, Tonks laughed even harder. She then lifted her hand, trying to hug the boy from the side. “Oh, honey, please hug me! I’m giving birth to our child!”

“Tonks! Stop!”

Tonks continued to tease him as they kept on walking along the corridor. Once she was done, her tone got back to being serious.

“Anyway, the real baby-daddy …”

“Oh, yeah. Don’t worry. He’s on the way now.”

“Okay, great. Thanks for calling him.”

“No problem.”

Her steps slowed down as she was holding on to the railings on the wall. There was a soft, grateful smile on her lips, but Harry noticed that there was a hint of sadness in her eyes.

Something that may not have anything to do with Lupin. 

Harry suddenly had this feeling that he better asked this question. “So … uh … anyone else I should call, other than him?”

Tonks shook her head. “No. Just him. It’s fine. If you want to call Sirius or your friends, feel free, though.”

They continued walking along the corridor.

—

On the other side of the city, Lupin found himself walking down the street in a state of mild confusion. 

Thirty minutes passed and the congestion showed no sign of easing up, so he made the reluctant decision to get off and walk. As he proceeded with the distance, he finally got to see the site of the accident: There were at least three cars involved in it. It was quite massive; no wonder the evacuation took a long time. 

He continued on walking and it was a few more blocks until the traffic jams cleared. 

The hospital was still far away. He could never be there in time on foot; also, he really needed to save his energy, and this journey was exhausting enough for him. So he better gets another cab. 

But it seemed like every single passing cab was occupied that day. He considered ordering a car from the Portkey app, but that means there will be some waiting period.

Just as Lupin was mulling over his options, someone tapped him on the shoulder.

—

Tonks could no longer walk.

Within the next hour, her contractions had intensified that she asked to be brought back to the room. As she laid there, they conducted more exams and found out she had progressed rather rapidly.  At this rate, her sense of humour had completely disappeared and there was only one thing that she could yell about.

“Where’s Remus!?”

“I’m calling him! He didn’t pick up!”

“Get him! Please!”

“I am! I am! Don’t worry!”

“I'm not letting this baby out unless he's here!”

Shutting down the phone, Harry turned away from where he stood. 

That was it. He could not take this anymore.  He had been stuck with Tonks for hours while getting his hand attached to her phone, trying to make sure that her husband would be there in time. He finally managed to get hold of Lupin, but that man had become unreachable again in the last hour, just when the labour was progressing.

At this point, Harry was determined to get out, find Lupin, and drag him to the hospital, even if it means getting the police involved.

Luckily, just as he was going to walk out, the door swung open, revealing the most wanted man of the moment.

Apart from having his soft brown hair messed up and his shirt half-untucked, Lupin looked like he was about to faint when he walked into the room.

“You …!”

“Remus!”

“Dora! Oh, Dora …”

“Where have you been!?” 

“Oh, Harry, hello.”

Lupin patted Harry’s shoulder in passing as he kept on walking towards his wife. “Honey, I’m so sorry, I …”

“What took you so long!?” Tonks looked like she was ready to throw the IV drip on her husband’s direction.

Lupin drew a deep breath. “It’s complicated. And it doesn’t matter. How do you feel now? How far along are we?”

As the couple talked, Harry slowly walked back towards the door, crawled along the wall to get out of the room.

Phew. He could finally have some time for himself.

During his earlier detour in the maternity ward with the mother-to-be, he caught a glimpse of a waiting room for the family in one particular corner. Perhaps that would be a nice place to sit down and consider what to do next. He also vaguely remembered seeing a vending machine in that room; having had no lunch, he really could do with some sustenance at the moment.

Once he got into the room, Harry rushed to the machine and opted to buy a can of Butterbeer. Once the can rolled down to the opening below, he took it out and gulped the content down, still standing in front of the machine.

He took a moment to stare into the display of the drinks inside. As his sight got into a better focus, the boy sensed that someone was standing behind him --he could even see their eyes staring straight at him on the glass’ surface.

When he turned around, Harry found Luna Lovegood standing there.

“Hello.”

“Oh. You’re here.”

“Yes. I think I’m getting a drink as well.”

Harry moved to give space for Luna to buy her drinks. The girl inserted plenty of coins and pressed for two kinds of drinks: Butterbeer and milk.

“Have you tried mixing them up?”

“Uh. Nope.”

“You can try mine.”

“No. Thanks.”

The two teenagers proceeded to find a seat in the waiting room. Sitting in silence, Harry wondered why he suddenly lost all abilities to make conversation with his own close friend. Perhaps it was exhaustion. Or hunger. Or just the plain surprise of finding Luna in a place like this.

“What are you doing here?” he finally blurted it out.

“Oh, I’m dropping someone here. His wife is giving birth.”

Harry snickered. “Funny, I’m dropping a wife. Her husband was at work. He just arrived a minute ago.”

“Yeah, so was mine."

Harry was taking another gulp of his drink when it finally dawned on him what had happened.

\--

"Is this better?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

After an hour of screaming and trying to get herself in a comfortable position, Tonks eventually opted to lay on her side, with pillows supporting in every direction. As her breathing got longer and more stable, she could deal with the contractions better.

Meanwhile, her husband sat nearby with sleeves folded all the way to his elbow, carrying a small towel to wipe her sweats. Every few minutes, he would remind her to sip some water and help direct the straw towards her lips.

“I’m glad you’re here. I can’t ask Harry, he’s done so much for me.” Tonks put her head back on the pillow.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry about that. I’ll talk to him after this.”

“What happened?”

“Hm?”

“Yeah. What happened? Why you took so long?”

Lupin put the glass on the nearby table. “Guess who dropped me to the hospital?”

“I don’t want to play games!”

“Right, sorry. It was Luna.”

Tonks lifted her head slowly. “What? How?”

Lupin began telling the story of how things were running smoothly until he got stuck in monstrous congestion in town, and had to get out of the cab. Just as he was looking for a new ride, someone tapped his shoulder --and it turned out to be his student.

“She was riding this bright yellow female bicycle, and --you won’t believe this— there were tin cans attached to its back wheels. Just like in newlyweds’ cars.”

“What?” Tonks snorted. A smile grew on her face.

“Yeah, and when I said hi to her, the first thing she said to me was, 'You need help, sir.' I have no idea how she knew that,” Lupin continued. “Perhaps it’s that sixth sense thing.”

He then proceeded to tell his wife about how he ended up going to the hospital on that noisy yellow bicycle with Luna sitting on the back, holding on to him tightly. 

“I basically arrived as a parade,” Lupin concluded.

Tonks laughed. “That’s really sweet. Where’s she now?”

“Outside, I think? I’ll make sure to get her and Harry some meals.”

“Yes, please, honey. They’ve been really helpful.”

Lupin was just about to get his wallet when a message came into his phone.

“Who’s that?”

Lupin took the phone to reply to the message, but he wondered if he should have told Tonks about it first. “Uh … It’s your father. I messaged him about this.”

There was no answer from the woman. Sighing rather loudly, she fixed the position of her pillow and closed her eyes. It was obvious that the sense of happiness that she just felt had already gone.

“I’m sorry. ‘Cause I thought …” Lupin reached out for her hand.

“Okay. Fine.”

“Eh?”

“Dad can come. He can meet Teddy. But she …”

But her words were once again cut short.  As her screamings grew louder, the midwife returned to check on her condition and proceeded to announce --_it is time_. 

In the midst of the chaos, despite his own adrenaline rush, Lupin was sure that Tonks was calling out her mother’s name as she fought to deliver her own child to the world.

\--

There was excruciating pain. Then there was complete silence. 

She dropped down her head to let the glaring lights consume her; waves of sensations and feelings washed over her. First, they tried to stab her, then she felt like exploding. At some point, there was even a hint of pleasure. 

The first sound that she heard was of him, crying.

But is that real? Did she hear that correctly?

_He’s here_, a familiar voice whispered to her ears. _He’s finally here_.

_Congratulations_, another voice came. _It’s a boy!_

There were more movements and sounds, but what happened next was something that Nymphadora Tonks would remember forever: When they put him on her bare chest for the very first time.

“Oh. Oh! You. Hello. Welcome.”

He was purple and wet and warm. Yet he was more beautiful than anything she had ever touched before.

In the midst of her tears, she turned to look at her husband. “Look. Remus. I sneezed out a person from my vagina.” 


	22. Day 2

“He smells really nice.”

Sitting on the hospital bed, Lupin and Tonks could not stop staring at the bundle of powder blue blanket on the man’s arms --and the baby sleeping tightly in it. 

“I know, right?” Tonks sighed, putting her head on her husband’s shoulder. “I want to bite him!”

“Honey, it’s only day two. You already want to eat our child.”

“He’s so cute.” Tonks fixed the tiny socks on Teddy’s foot. “But look at those legs, Remus. I think he’s going to be tall. Like you!”

Lupin chuckled. “I can’t wait until he’s eighteen. And we’re going to crush you into a sandwich.”

Tonks made some whiny noises.

“Hey. That’s how we’re going to show our love to you.” Lupin turned towards his wife. “We’re going to call it the Lupin Gentlemen's Special Sandwich Hug.”

“It’s only day two. These boys are already conspiring against me.”

“We’re just getting started, love.”

Tonks pinched her husband’s arms as he kept on laughing. Despite his voice and movements, Teddy continued to be fast asleep. The baby would only occasionally moving his lips.

“Oh, my. He’s a heavy sleeper, isn’t he?” Tonks sighed. 

Lupin continued to laugh. “Another thing he inherited from his Da!”

Tonks pouted. “Isn’t there anything he got from me!? I kept him within me for almost a year.”

“Don’t worry, love. Wait until he learns to talk.” Lupin poked his tongue out.

But then his laughter faded. "Well. On a serious note … Don’t worry. All the best things he got … it will be from you.”

“Remus …”

Lupin gave his wife a soft kiss. 

The couple let the stillness engulfed them. For a brief moment, Teddy looked like he was lifting his arm, stretching himself in his sleep.

Fixing the baby’s wrapping, Lupin looked like he suddenly remembered something. “I’m going to the register office after this. So … have you made up your mind?”

“Yes. I’ve written it down, it’s over there.” Tonks pointed at the nearby desk. “The full name's Edward Remus Lupin.”

Her husband went quiet. He slowly turned towards Tonks again, struggling to believe what he had just heard. 

“You don’t like it?”

“No, no. It’s … Wow. I don’t know how to say it.”

“I’m naming him after the two most important men in my life.” Tonks fixed her position. “May he grow up being just as good as them. If not more.”

Lupin took a deep breath, cradling the baby in his arms. He took the moment to put his words together, trying to make sure they convey how he felt.

“You know. Dora. What you’re doing here … This is really the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

Tonks chuckled. “I know. That’s why the diaper duty is all yours.”


	23. Day 12

If Lupin and Tonks could ever describe the first week they had at home with Teddy, they would say it was … impossible to describe.

Because so many things happened at the same time, they just did not know how they managed to survive it. 

First, there was the thing with Teddy learning how to nurse, which had gotten Tonks to yell “whoever calling breastfeeding ‘natural’ is a liar.” Then, there was the thing with bathing and cleaning the baby, combined with washing the soiled clothes and diapers he left behind. 

These were the tasks that seemed to go on forever. But nothing could have prepared the couple for that thing countless people had warned them about: The sleepless nights.

This was why, when Black called to check how the new parents were doing and followed up by sending his butler and housemaids to clean the house, Tonks and Lupin felt like celebrating. Finally, the house looked habitable again. Also, since the first week had passed, perhaps this was the right time to open their house to visitors.

Once the couple announced that they were ready to welcome guests, friends and colleagues came flooding in. By the end of the first day, they have received visits from the neighbours (who brought casseroles and fresh salads), Lupin’s colleagues (including McGonagall, who came with a lovely set of baby bibs) and Tonks’s bandmates (who gave Teddy the baby-sized version of their band’s T-shirt).

The second day began with Black and Harry showing up at the place. When Lupin brought them in, they found Tonks in the sitting room, standing near the bassinet where Teddy was sleeping.

Black immediately gave her a long, warm hug.

“Congratulations, Mama,” Black muttered. “So, where’s my new nephew?”

“Here, here!” Tonks pulled him towards the bassinet, pointing at her baby. “You should see what Remus and I made …”

“I don’t think I need to hear that part.”

“Why? It’s amazing what two human beings can achieve in just one night, you know.”

“I’m going to stop you there.”

Lupin went away to the kitchen to get some drinks for the guests, but when he returned, he found them all gathering around the bassinet --as it has always been in the past few days. When he placed the drinks on a nearby table, he heard Tonks offering Harry to hold the baby.

The man smiled. It brought him back to the day Teddy was born, when Harry and Luna were the only other people around to wait for them.

At that time, it felt just right for him to ask them to become Teddy’s godparents. Especially after he saw them holding Teddy for the first time; their young and tired faces beaming with joy.

It may seem too much of him to give Harry such a big responsibility, when that boy had been extremely helpful in the past months. Lupin could even imagine Lily yelling at him (though he was certain James would just laugh at the prospect of Harry becoming a godfather). 

But perhaps that was why he felt like he could trust him? Because the boy had proven himself capable in difficult times? 

Letting go of his musings, Lupin was about to join the group when he heard a car stopping in front of the house. 

Out of curiosity, he walked towards the window to peek --and ran towards the door immediately afterwards.

Outside, he found his father-in-law getting off the stopping car, talking to another person inside it. Lupin did not have to see the person in her entirety, but he knew right away who she was --and what this appearance meant.

“Hello. Good morning." 

He did not know what to say, so he just went with that.

“Hello, Remus,” Ted Tonks replied.

It was disheartening to see that the man's usual jolly smile was nowhere to be seen.

“Can I have a moment? There’s something …” Ted continued.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

Lupin heard the car’s door being slammed. When he shifted his focus, he found Andromeda Tonks standing there, looking as proud as she could be. 

It did not take a genius to realise that the woman was not brought there in her own will.

“It’s been a while since we last met.” Lupin was not sure this was the right thing to say.

“And rightfully so. I hope you’re well. Ted, I’m leaving,” Andromeda announced, trying to get back inside the car.

But Ted’s reaction sent chills down Lupin’s spine.

“Stay where you are!” he shouted. “You are not leaving until I tell you to!”

Ted turned towards Lupin’s direction. “Now, will you please get Dora.”

Lupin opened his mouth, looking as if he was going to say something. But he changed his mind and massaged his own hands instead. “Well, perhaps, if we can talk about it first …”

But Ted would not take that as an answer. 

Taking a step forward, he pointed his finger at his son-in-law. “I said, I want you to bring my daughter out. And I need her now.”

The younger man gulped. 

“Do not disappoint me, Remus,” Ted added. 

Lupin was just about to say something else when he heard a voice coming from behind him.

“What’s going on here!?”

He turned around and found his wife standing by the door. 

His wife, who was still struggling with lack of sleep, and a baby who will not nurse from her. His wife, who had specifically requested him to never allow her mother to visit their grandson. Standing there to see both of her parents in her yard.

This is how Lupin knew that World War III had started.

“What is she doing here!?” Tonks ran towards the group. “Remus, I told you, I don’t want …”

“Honey, listen …”

“Dora! Come here you, at once! We need to talk.”

“Dad, I told you …”

“This is pointless. I am out of here.”

“No, you stay, Andy …”

They continued to shout while Lupin, uneasily, felt the neighbours’ eyes staring at the commotion. Moving towards his wife, he tried to make sure that she did not take any step further from her spot --and do anything regrettable to her own parents. 

This was when he heard Ted’s voice booming through the air.

“ENOUGH! ENOUGH, BOTH OF YOU!”

A discomforting silence engulfed them. Lupin was able to get hold Tonks, preventing her from moving further. But he knew that it was not the end.

“You, mother and daughter … refusing to talk to each other … At such an important moment! I really can’t believe what’s going on here,” Ted began. 

“Dad, that’s because …”

“You will let me finish!” Ted raised his finger. “I've done my share of listening … and now it’s time for you two, to listen to me!”

“And Remus,” he added as an afterthought.

Gasping, Tonks turned towards her husband.

“There’s no need for you to do this,” Andromeda started, folding her arms on her chest. “Our daughter is an adult. She can do whatever she wants. I don't care.”

“And yet look at where we are!” Ted shouted again. “Remus and I have let you two make your own decisions, and look at where we are!”

“I wasn’t the one who …” Tonks responded, but Lupin made a move to cover her.

“Honey,” Lupin whispered. “Please.”

“No, I …”

“Twelve days ago, that was supposed to be the happiest day of my life,” Ted spoke again.

This time, the man actually sounded like he was about to cry.

“I held him in my arms, and I … I felt like I was being reborn. As a new person. A grandfather,” Ted continued. “I'm so, so glad to see my grandson, yet I felt anxious. Because I know that he was born in this situation.”

“Dad …”

Lupin gave his wife a warning look.

“The greatest gift that a child can have is to have people in his life … who care deeply about him. To stick together, to give the safety that he deserves. Yet my grandson can't have that,” Ted pointed out. “So I decided that, today … I’m going to intervene. I'm going to bring you two together. Talk your differences out. And be a family. For Teddy.”

A moment of silence went by.

This time, Andromeda was the first to break it. “Look, I would love to have that relationship with my grandson as well. Do you think you're the only one suffering from this? No! Two weeks almost passed and I have never even seen that boy. What kind of grandmother am I?”

Ted closed his eyes exhaustedly. “And have you ever wondered why this happened? It’s because you’re always so stubborn, Andy. You’re stubborn. You always insist that things should be done your way …”

He turned to face his wife. “For so long, you always wanted her to become something else. Can’t you just learn to accept her for the way she is? For the decisions that she made?”

Tonks looked like she was just too glad to find her father on her side. “See? Exactly. I’m doing this because …”

But Ted turned towards her. “And you, you’re supposed to know better.”

“What?”

“You’re no longer a child. You’re a parent now. You know how terrible your mother’s action was, yet you displayed the exact same kind of stubbornness," Ted pined. “You could have ended this, but you made things worse instead."

Tonks was about to say something else, but her husband stopped her.

Grabbing the woman tightly by the shoulders, Lupin aimed to make eye contact with his wife. “Listen. Dora. Please. I know this is hard for you, but I --and Teddy-- we really need you to stop this.”

“You know very well what happened! How could you say that!”

“I’m not dismissing what happened! It was terrible. But listen up.” The man took a deep breath. “We need your parents in our life.”

“We don’t …”

“You’re not listening! Look. Look how the past week was like for us. We barely slept, we got into a fight. We’re stressing out, Dora. And that happened because we’re trying to do this by ourselves." Lupin threw his arms widely. “This can’t go on forever.”

Tonks went quiet. She stared at him as if she was challenging him to come up with something great. 

Luckily, his next statement was the one that finally brought her realisation.

“We’re doing our best, but we have limitations. You know that.”

Upon hearing this, the woman put her hands over her mouth.

Lupin swore he could hear her gasping, and there were even crystals on her eyes.

“Right? It’s not just me … You also need to take care of yourself. Teddy, he … he needs us to be healthy. In good condition,” Lupin went on. “And we can’t do that if we’re exhausted all the time. That’s why we need help. Any help we can get.”

Tonks bowed down her head; her hands still covering her mouth. 

It took her a moment until she could begin speaking again.

“I totally forgot about your condition.” She lifted her head. “I’m so sorry.”

Lupin chuckled. “See? This is why …”

The couple talked for a little more until they heard Ted calling them. When they turned towards him, they learned that his facial expression had softened --and that Andromeda had taken a step forward from where she stood.

"So? What is it going to be?" Ted challenged. 

Andromeda took a deep breath. From the way she moved her hands, this seemed like a very hard thing to do. But the woman finally said it out loud. 

"I am sorry. For hurting you with my action. I should have focussed on the big news back then. Instead of ..."

Tonks nodded. "Yeah ... I ... I'm sorry too. For cutting you out."

The mother and daughter pair finally took a step forward, embracing each other in a long-awaited hug.

Clapping happily, Ted could not stop praising them for finally getting to this point.

Lupin sighed deeply at the progress. Part of it was glad that it was over, while another part of him also relieved that he did not have to personally intervene the process. 

The group would only make a movement when Harry walked out of the house with Teddy in his hand; Sirius's laughter following closely behind.

"Tonks ... I ... I felt something warm!"


	24. Day 65

“Why didn’t you give Teddy talcum powder? Babies need that after their bath.”

“No, the doctor said we don’t do this anymore. They found asbestos in talcum powder. It’s not safe.”

“Nonsense.”

\--

“Mum! Did you just give him water?”

“Yes. Why?”

“He’s only two months old!”

“So what? I gave you soda when you were three months old. You were just fine.”

\--

“Your son’s too thin.”

“He’s alright. It's still within the healthy range. We have checked.”

“Give him formula.” 

“There’s no need for it, Mum. It's in the genes. His father has always been thin.”

“Thin babies are weird.”

\-- 

“It’s cold. Give Teddy his jumper.”

“I have. He doesn't like it. He actually prefers cold weather.”

“Nonsense.”

“Mum, don’t force him! See, you make him cry!”

\--

“You gave your son a pink blanket!?”

“It’s just a colour, Mum. And he likes it.”

“What if people think he's a girl!?"

“They shouldn't jump into conclusion." 

\--

“MUM! PLEASE TELL DAD NOT TO PLAY SUPERMAN WITH HIM!”

\--

“I hate my parents, Remus.”

“The soda part kind of explained everything, though.”

“_Remus_.”


	25. Month 3

Tonks woke up with a grey cloud hanging over her head, following her every move.

It had been there since early in the morning when a teeny, tiny hand touched her face, prompting her to wake up --just when she had just started dreaming. She forced a smile (“Good morning, you.”). But even then she knew that it never reached her eyes.

The new mother got up and lifted her baby from where he was sleeping: In the space between her and her husband. After a quick nappy change, she walked towards this chair that Lupin had set up by the window, where the soft morning light would fall perfectly on her when she sat on it. Humming softly, she gave Teddy his first feed of the day. 

Even then, the cloud continued to hang over herself.

Once the little boy was done nursing, she ran her fingers through his soft, dark hair before putting him back on the bed. She took a moment to watch him sleep; his small, pouty lips moved as if he was dreaming of food and drinks.

That was when the cloud burst.

When her husband opened his eyes, he found her sitting on the edge of the bed, face covered in hands.

“What’s the matter?”

Tonks continued to wail. 

Lupin took a detour around the baby to reach out to her. “Something happened?” 

He allowed her to take a moment in his hug to cry her heart out. Once she calmed down a bit, she began to talk.

Of the cloud that had been hanging over her in the past days, which prevented her from smiling when her baby does. The cloud that made her feel as if she existed in a different plane and the world is nothing but untouchable visuals. Disconnected and unreal.

Inside she was screaming, urging herself to shoo it away and let the sun comes through. But the cloud was persistent and she could not hold it any longer.

“Okay. We need to do something about this.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

Lupin drew a deep breath. He put his hands on his wife’s cheeks, trying to keep eye contact with her, who still had tears running down her eyes.

He decided to start small. “When was the last time you left the house?”

“Eh?”

“Just curious.”

Tonks blew her nose, but it was obvious that she was intrigued by the question. “I … I don’t know.”

“Visits to the doctor don’t count.”

She tried to say something. “B-But I don’t go out anymore. Unless it’s for Teddy. I don’t know.”

“I think this is where the problem is.”

Lupin let go of his wife’s face and pulled her into his hug again. He tousled her messy, dark-coloured hair --which had grown longer than the past few years he knew her-- before giving her a small kiss. 

“Dora. You’re an amazing mother. A hardworking, loving one.”

“What are you talking about?”

“But one cannot pour from an empty cup.”

She drew herself away from his hug. “You mean?”

Lupin sighed. “Look, I am lucky. My paternity leave has ended; that means I get to go to work and meet people. And even have time for myself, during bus rides or something. But you don’t get to have that.”

“Yeah, but … I have a baby. I can’t leave his side.”

“But you can always delegate.” Lupin touched her cheeks again. “Remember our conversation when your parents first came here?”

“We need all the help we can get?”

He nodded. “Today, you need it most. I’m sorry I didn’t notice this earlier.”

“What should I do, then?”

For the first time that day, a smile grew on Lupin’s face. “I have some ideas.”

\--

Within hours, Tonks found herself standing on a street corner in Camden, getting herself used the lights and crowd again, after months of being stuck inside.

Her husband concluded that she was stressed out from taking care of the baby, with limited to no sleep at all --which was made worse with her determination to do it all by herself. So he suggested that she dedicate the day to do something for herself --be it going out or shopping or seeing her friends.

At first, Tonks tried to debate the idea. But she could not deny that she desperately needed to do something about the cloud.

So she took a shower, prepared milk for Teddy in the freezer, and reminded her husband where everything was --though he did not need this. And walked away from the house with Lupin standing by the door, saying goodbye with Teddy in his hug.

“Alright, Tonks. You can do this. It’s fun and easy.”

Once she started walking, Tonks was surprised to find that some details in the area had changed within just a short time. Where was the street musician that used to play in that corner? Since when did that shop become a restaurant? How come she missed all of this?

It took her a moment until she got to see familiar sights. 

For a start, there was the pub where she used to hang out in. Haha, that one. She remembered when she first brought Lupin there to introduce him to her friends. One friend kept on warning her against dating older men (“They're only after one thing. Also, you can’t expect equal relations with them.”). But when this friend laid her eyes on Lupin, she started to fix her hair purposely and laugh at everything that he said. Tonks did not talk to her again after that.

She saw Mrs Weasley’s fish-and-chips shop in one street, where she used to work. The sight of it made her feel slightly warm, but not warm enough to stop and have a chat with people. So perhaps she will save this one for later. 

But nothing made her feel more nostalgic --and slightly heartbroken-- than the old record store that she used to visit on Saturdays.

Saturdays.

This was also a Saturday.

Since when did it change for her?

Fridays used to be the moment that she waited all week for. Lupin --her boyfriend back then-- would show up at her door with a bag of groceries, or something from a nearby Asian restaurant. They would sit on the sofa in her bachelorette pad, eating and talking about their week. But that was only when they were not being too horny.

They would spend the entire morning being locked away in her room, trying out new positions or perfecting old favourites. Or they would just cuddle and talk some more. Sometimes the morning would even go with him reading aloud for her, as she leaned on his shoulder. Then, after lunch at a nearby pub, they would visit that record store. 

Tonks was too busy musing about the past that she failed to realise that her hands were already on the record store's glass window. It saddened her to think of how their relationship had changed. If it was all about companionship and enjoyment in the past, today, there was also an element of duty in it. 

It was not that she had issues with duties. In fact, she asked for it. 

But at what expense? Losing herself? Sacrificing one's wellness for a dream? What does it really mean to work hard for one's dream?

Tonks bowed down her head; she was so close to the window that her forehead immediately touched its surface. 

_ We need all the help that we can get ... _

When she agreed to welcome her mother back into her life, to be honest, she did it just for the sake of ending an argument. Ever since that, Andromeda showed up at her place every day, with the intention to help her take care of Teddy. 

But they could not even agree on how to bathe the baby properly. So despite her mother being present, she just could not trust her to help with anything. 

Today, she wondered if she had been doing this wrongly. Should she accept the fact that her mother has different ideas on how to raise a child? In exchange for getting help in raising hers? 

Scratching her head, Tonks felt dizzy with thoughts. 

Oh well. At least now she knew where to put her focus now. In the meantime, she just wanted to feel better about herself. 

\--

"I'm home!" 

The front door of 394 Wolfsbane Drive opened to reveal Tonks standing there with a brilliant smile on her face. The woman had the hood of her jacket covering her head, and her hands were full of shopping bags.

When she saw her husband and baby by the door, she immediately dropped everything to hug both of them.

"Look, Teddy, Mum-Mum's home!"

"Aaaa … I miss you both so much! How's your day? Was he being fussy?"

Tonks let go of her hug to make sure that her baby was perfectly okay.

"Oh, he's a fine little gentleman. We went to the pub and had a pint today."

"_ Remus _."

The man stuck his tongue out. "He grew up so fast."

Rolling her eyes, Tonks picked her baby up from the father's arms. 

Within the next hour, the little family gathered in the sitting room to check out everything that Tonks had bought for them: A nice green jumper for Lupin, new squeaky toys for Teddy. Plenty of children's books. 

The woman was swaying Teddy in her arms when Lupin took his attention away from the small pile of books.

"So, got anything for yourself?"

He would not stop staring at her jacket's hood, which was still covering her head.

Tonks stopped. With one hand, she pulled her hoodie a little lower. "Yeah …That's the thing. I … I don't know how he'll react to it."

Lupin chuckled. "Give it a try."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Even if he cries, it won't be for long."

Tonks let out a nervous smile. Her hand returned to her hood again, getting ready to move it down. "Okay, Teddy. I hope this doesn't scare you."

Then she pulled down the hood to reveal her brand new bright pink hair. 

There was a moment of silence as Teddy stared wide-eyed at his mother's hair colour. But seconds later, the baby's smile grew --and he would soon get caught in his own tickled laughter.

"He loves it, Remus! He loves it!"

"Oh, no. He's going to dye his hair blue someday."

"Do you like this? Do you think Mum-Mum looks pretty?"

The baby squealed happily again, leading to Tonks showering him with kisses.

It took a moment until Lupin finally got to say something.

"So ... what changed?"

"Eh?"

The man fixed his sitting position on the floor. Once he was comfortable, he stared at his wife, almost unblinkingly, before a smile grew on his face. "You came back a different person."

He lifted up a finger as if he was just reminded of something. "No, wait ... You came back as yourself."

Listening to her husband, a smile grew on Tonks's face. She changed the way she held her baby; the boy was soon on her cradle, getting all the access to touch her face.

"I made two decisions."

Lupin blinked. "And those are?"

"One. I'm going to let Mum help me take care of Teddy."

"Even if ..."

"Yeah. Even though the way she would raise him ... might be different than how I imagine it." Tonks fixed Teddy's position in her hug. "I mean, I guess we can't expect perfection? As long as she's not harming him?"

"That's great. What's the other one?"

Tonks had to delay her answer, for her mouth was covered by Teddy's little hand. But when he took it away, her answer was firm.

"Happiness first."


	26. Month 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long break! I just relocated into a new country, so I've been busy with admin stuff LOL. But the holiday is coming soon, so fear not!

“Alright, Teddy… Let’s make dinner! Da’s almost home!”

Throwing her phone away, Tonks got hold of her baby from the bed, where they had been playing in the last minutes. Humming a song about pancakes, she put Teddy inside a wrap-type baby carrier before running down the stairs, making the baby giggle with every step.

Just before the entrance of the kitchen, they passed by a massive, empty carton box which had been recently used to pack winter clothes.

“Oops. I forgot about that.”

Tonks stopped to pick the box up, but she had other ideas.

Taking Teddy out of the baby carrier, she carefully moved the child down inside the box, propping him up in a sitting position. 

Her smile grew when Teddy started laughing. Swinging his arms widely, the boy shouted and tapped the surface of the box happily. 

“Do you like this!? Oh my God, wait until I show your father …”

The boy continued to laugh until he stopped --and stared at his mother longingly. Making grunting sound, Tonks noticed that the joy had faded from his eyes.

“Hm? What’s the matter?”

Teddy continued to wave his hands, but he no longer did it out of happiness. As the boy started crying, Tonks reached out inside to check his diaper, which was perfectly dry.

“Is there a bug in there? No, it’s clean… What’s the matter, boy?” 

Tonks gasped. “Are you hungry already!? But you just …”

But the child just kept on crying that she had no choice but to get him out of the box. 

Interestingly, Teddy cried even louder once he was out of the box. The boy screamed even as his mother swung him around and tried to nurse him. 

Minutes went by and Tonks learned that the only way Teddy would calm down was when she put him back inside the box. But after a brief moment of silence, his tears began to well up again.

“Okay, I really don’t know what you want. Everything’s fine,” Tonks sighed.

But suddenly, an idea came into her mind. Could it be?

Oh, well. Basically, when you have a baby, you would do anything.

This is the reason why, when he came home that night, Lupin almost jumped when stumbling upon his wife and son sitting calmly inside a massive carton box.

“Don’t ask.”


	27. Month 8

The child squealed happily as the sound of splashing water filled the main bathroom of 394 Wolfsbane Drive. He was sitting on his father’s lap as he swung his arms joyfully, trying to catch the bubbles that his mother has been blowing towards him from the opposite end of the large bath tub. His movement sent out waves that made the rubber ducky and plastic boats sway uncontrollably on the surface of the water, hanging for dear life.

“Watch out! We have an incoming!”

Tonks shouted as she blew more bubbles towards her son, who screamed even louder than before. Trying to keep hold of Teddy, Lupin laughed at his end of the bathtub. “Whoa, easy there, son!”

It has become some sort of a tradition for the young family to huddle inside the bathtub every other night. Usually, the ritual would then be followed by Lupin and Teddy sitting on the bed, reading books that may have been read by the man’s father to him when he was the same age as his son. Letting Tonks had that precious little time for herself, doing whatever she needs to take a break. 

But tonight, he told his wife that there would be another exception.

“Uh, sweetheart … Do you mind reading Teddy his book tonight?”

“What? Again?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“But he doesn’t like it when I read to him!”

“Because you modify the story.”

Tonks scoffed. “Everyone has read  _ Tales of Beedle the Bard _ . It’s boring.”

“Well, not Teddy,” Lupin laughed. “He’s just arrived on this planet this year.”

Once the family was done, they walked out of the bathtub and dried themselves, with Teddy fussing and refusing to be picked up.  As soon as he was fully clothed, even with his hair still being wet, Lupin immediately kissed his wife and son good night and rushed out of the room.

He had been acting like this in the past week.

The man has this strict rule of never taking his work home; once he arrived, his mind would be fully focussed on his little family. But this week, after dinner and bath, Lupin would lock himself up in the study and stay there for at least two hours (“Have to finish something”).

When he came back to the master bedroom, he would be too exhausted to even let Tonks ask any questions about what he had been doing. After seven months, Teddy has finally learned to sleep all night long, and the couple was able to move him into his own bedroom. 

But instead of kickstarting their sex life --which had been non-existent since the birth of their child-- Tonks would just lay in the dark and listen to her husband’s snoring. 

She had been understanding. When you are married, you are basically sharing your life, but even then there are moments when your partner would demand privacy. But after a week of silence --Tonks thought as she pulled out the storybook from her son’s salivating mouth-- one might just lose their patience.

\--

Andromeda Black Tonks was not one to do baby talks. She thought it was stupid to speak gibberish, even to babies. She never did that to her daughter and no parents should ever do that to theirs. If anything, kids should be taught how to speak properly since … Oh, her grandson had arrived.

Entering the house in his mother’s arms, the little boy wore a dinosaur-shaped onesie and had an ice-cream-shaped teething toy in his mouth.

“Whoosa ickle dinosaur? Ickle dinosaur wikes ice cweam?” 

Teddy swung his toy as if he was saying “Me!”

“Mum, you sound weird.”

“Oh, I’m not talking to you.” Andromeda picked up the baby from Tonks’s arms. “I’m talking to baby dinosaur! Issit? Issit? Wee!”

Teddy replied by pulling his grandmother’s hair and put it in his mouth, but she did not seem to mind. 

“Anyway, Mum, I’m not staying here today. Mind watching over Teddy?” 

Andromeda lifted up her head. “Oh, you’re going somewhere?”

Tonks was just about to say something about a meeting for her freelancing gig, but her mother was quick to catch the troubles in her eyes.  “You’re fighting with Remus.”

“No, we …”

“He’s doing something.”

“...”

“You suspect he’s doing something.”

“Well, yeah.”

Tonks stayed in the hallway while Andromeda carried the baby away to the sitting room. After a moment of silence, Tonks decided to follow her mother and son.

“I’m going to check what he’s doing today," Tonks announced.

“Good luck.”

Tonks squinted her eyes. “You’re not going to say anything?”

“Well, I certainly don’t recommend you to stalk your husband.”

“Why?”

Andromeda did nothing but tidying up her grandson’s clothes. “Nothing good will ever come out of it.”

“But …”

“Nobody can ever lie for so long. If he does something bad, it will uncover by itself. Your father knows that well, and he knows that I know. That’s why I never need to stalk him. Wight, baby dinosaur?” 

“But …”

“But you’re not listening to me. As always.”

“Yeah.”

Andromeda fixed Teddy’s position on her lap. “Good luck.”

\--

Tonks did not accuse her husband of cheating or anything. However, as if his behaviour this week was not weird enough, that morning Lupin came out with another baffling announcement: That he would not be having dinner at home.

When Tonks asked him why, as always, his answer was that he had some work to do. But before she was able to say anything, he grabbed her hand and muttered something about talking to her later.

I have some important news, he said. 

Tonks was just about to nag him about telling the news now --instead of later-- when the man took a glimpse into his watch and dashed off from the dining room. 

Unable to get over feeling offended by Lupin, Tonks decided to drop Teddy in his grandparents’ home that afternoon and proceeded to spy on her own husband. She really could not see why he would not even tell her what he was about to do. Also, she was curious. Rather than wait until after dinner, she was going to beat him to it and find out what the man had been up to.

So far, he was being truthful.

Sitting in a small restaurant across the school, Tonks watched her husband walked out of the school as soon as the bell rang. So he finished on time, but he was going somewhere else, she thought. She took note of the number of the bus that he took; her eyes lit up when she found out that it was going to the city.

Not somewhere he would usually be.

She ended up taking the next bus that goes in the same route, and when she arrived, it got a bit confusing at first. Where could he be? Was he meeting someone? If yes, where would he meet that person?

Walking around in circles, Tonks would only stop when she caught sight of a popular coffee shop chain in one corner.  Feeling excited, she rushed towards the coffee shop with the hope to find Lupin there. Her heart leapt when she got closer to the location --and found her husband sitting on a chair by the window. She was just about to hide behind a newsstand when she noticed the person sitting across him.

The woman was about the same age as Lupin. The way they talked to each other was far from being formal; in fact, she seemed to be really entertained by whatever thing Lupin just said. At some point, they were even laughing together, and Lupin shoved a small pile of tissue paper towards her when she accidentally(?) spilt her drink.

Tonks could not even feel her feet when they decided to walk towards the coffee shop.

She could not even feel her hands when they pushed the door open; she was even oblivious to other people’s stares as she ran towards her husband’s direction.

“Remus!”

He turned towards her direction --and his smile grew. “Dora! What are you doing here?”

“You! How could you …!” Tonks slapped her husband’s arm. “I can’t believe this! You …!”

Tears were already welling up on her eyes. “How could you do this to us!”

“W-What are you talking about!?”

“You said you have work to do! So this is what you’ve been doing!? Having coffee with her!? I’ve trusted you …”

“Dora …”

“Don’t ‘Dora’ me! I hate you!”

Lupin reached out towards her, and he managed to get hold of her hand before she snatched it away. With an unwavering sense of calmness, he pulled his wife gently to his side. “Sweetheart. This is Dorcas, she’s a friend from university. Today she’s an editor at Obscurus Books, and …”

Tonks held her breath as the woman smiled and waved politely at her.

“And … She’s here to tell me that they just agreed to publish my blog as a book.”

\--

“I’m flattered. You actually considered me attractive enough to have an affair.”

Once the meeting with the publisher was over, Lupin found himself standing outside of the coffee shop, watching his wife hugging a lamppost, hiding her face in embarrassment for what she had just done earlier.

“Please don’t remind me. I’m ashamed. Now your editor knows you have a weird, psychopathic, pink-haired bitch as a wife.”

Lupin chuckled. “If anything, that will make my book more interesting.”

As a response, Tonks hastily turned her head towards him. “So, they’re going to publish it? Seriously?”

“Yes. Apparently The Marauders was enough of a celebrity to get them interested.” Lupin rolled his eyes, but the man could never hide his excitement.

Having worked on the blog for years, he never seriously considered publishing his experience battling HIV until his wife casually mentioning it months before Teddy’s birth. It was also a good coincidence that Lupin had a friend who is working in a publishing company. So he tidied up the draft for his book --the reason why he had been locking himself up in his study-- and called for a meeting with said friend. That day, the friend finally decided that they are going to publish that little book.

“I’m so happy for you.” Slowly, Tonks let go of her lamp post and moved towards her husband.

“Thanks. It was your idea if you recall.” Lupin smiled. “That’s why I got to make it up to you and Teddy.”

“No …”

“No, seriously. I haven’t been paying attention to you. Also, the fact that you got suspicious … It means I have to be more open.” 

“Well …”

The sky started to darken, and the street got more crowded with passersby. Lupin took a step closer towards his wife and took her hands in his. Rubbing them slowly, Tonks smiled at the habit that he used to do when she was cold.

“I have an idea. Let Teddy stay with your parents.”

“What!?”

“Yeah. He sleeps on his own now. And your Mum would be thrilled, I think.”

“B-But …”

“He’ll be fine. You brought him clothes, right?”

“I did, but …”

Lupin chuckled. “Honey, sooner or later, we have to learn to be away from him. And then …” He pulled Tonks into his hug. “... we can have the house to ourselves.”

Tonks finally got it. “Like in the old days?”

“Uh-huh.” Lupin kissed her on the cheek. “When I used to do … you know.”

His voice slowly trailed off into a whisper. “That thing you really like.”

Laughing, Tonks let his kisses moved from her cheek to her neck while she pulled him even tighter to her hug. “Let’s call my Mum then.”


	28. Month 10

Teddy's first Christmas was filled with tears.

The Lupins only had a small, plastic Christmas tree installed in the sitting room of their home, so to get the little boy introduced to the joys of the holiday season, his parents decided to take him to dinner at his grandparents'. Inside their house, Ted had put up a massive Christmas tree with a peak that touched the ceiling of the house. The tree was also richly decorated with ornaments and fairy lights that played a piece of music when it was being turned on.

Apparently, this was too much for Teddy. Upon seeing the gigantic, colourful, and noisy thing in the room, the baby immediately screamed and cried.

His parents tried to get him to sit under the tree and took his photos there. But he ended up crying even louder; his first Christmas photos were filled with images of him in tears.

At first, Lupin wanted to help him get over his fear by holding him and bringing him closer to the object. Because, when he was younger, there was also a time when Teddy would cry at the sight of a cat. But once he got to see the animal closer, at the safety of his father's arms, the boy was able to cast aside his fear. Cats eventually became one of his favourite objects. 

The theory was that the same thing should apply to Christmas trees. But when Lupin tried to bring him closer to the tree, the boy became hysterical. At some point, he even started shaking. So Lupin had to spend Christmas dinner being confined to the kitchen, trying to soothe a traumatised child in his arms. 

The next days, Lupin decided to use the photo of Teddy crying in front of the tree as the wallpaper of his phone.

It was meant as a reminder to him that Teddy --like countless other children that he had had the privilege of teaching-- had his own unique needs and preferences. That Lupin, as his parent, must always try to understand and fulfil.

Also, he could not help thinking about how funny it was for his son to be scared of Christmas trees. One day when the boy is old enough to start dating, Lupin made a mental note to show these pictures to his future girlfriend or boyfriend. Because it was just hilarious.


	29. Month 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I'm sorry this took forever! Work took over my life. Also, basically, since these are the last two chapters of the story, I want to do it well.)
> 
> (Yes, this story will end soon T___T I feel sad parting with it. But fear not! I've prepared a bonus story)

“Rise and shine, sweetheart.”

Took a moment for Tonks to fully open her eyes and get her sight to focus. But once she managed to do it, the first thing she saw was her husband’s cheeky grin. 

He was wearing that old, hole-infested T-shirt that she had been secretly planning to turn into a rag. His soft brown hair was all messed up; it also seemed like it was about time for him to shave. But she hoped that he would delay it for a bit, for it made her feel like rubbing her cheek against his.

For a moment, it was a mystery why the man got to be so cheerful at such an early time in the morning. 

“Wakey-wakey. It’s a special day.”

“Bloody hell!”

The woman rushed to get up but distracted by the feeling of something light rolling off her chest.

“Oops!”

“Eh? What’s that?”

With a smile that continued to grow, the man caught the bouquet of pink roses that he had placed on his wife --and handed it to her. “The little man’s first birthday.”

“But I’m getting flowers!?”

“It’s your first anniversary as a mother,” Lupin declared. “Congratulations on a job well done.”

Squealing excitedly, Tonks pushed her man down the bed, climbed on top of him, and started showering him with kisses. 

“Aren’t we supposed to wake the boy?” Lupin asked, struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Later!” Tonks stopped kissing his neck and pulled his T-shirt up instead. 

The man could only reply in laughter. “Nice. We’re getting him a sister for his birthday.” 

\--

The house was immediately filled with guests as soon as lunchtime arrived. Teddy’s grandparents came first, bringing more than one gifts for their only grandchild. They could not contain their excitement for the fact that the boy had started to walk; he still stumbled from time to time, but it was getting impossible to keep him in one spot.

The next to show up was Harry and Sirius. They got Teddy a mini keyboard that actually play songs. When put side by side with the mini drum that they bought months ago, Lupin started to suspect that the two secretly tried to make it hard for him to sleep. 

But the highlight of the party was Luna, who showed up in a dinosaur onesie --to the only person to keep up with the party’s theme. When he saw her, Teddy just would not stop screaming in excitement until Tonks changed his clothes into a similar onesie.

There was some slight panic when Teddy tried to grab the birthday candle on his cake, but generally, the day went smoothly.

When the day drew to an end and the family was saying goodbye to their guests at the door, Lupin turned towards his wife. “So, is the plan still on?”

Tonks stopped nibbling on her son’s fingers. “Of course. I’ll change his clothes now.”

\--

Within the next hours, Teddy found himself sitting on a leather sofa in a tattoo parlour downtown, surrounded by his new toys --and heavily pierced and tattooed adults, all of them trying to get his attention. They made funny faces and singing songs that did not suit their looks, but the boy would only occasionally look towards them.

Meanwhile, his mother watched from afar as one of the resident artists work on a design on her right wrist.

“You know, if one day Teddy asks about all these drawings on your skin, I’m just going to go, ‘I don’t know, ask your mother,’” Lupin pointed out, preparing milk for the toddler. 

“And that’s the right thing to do,” Tonks answered. “I’m sure in no time he would want one for himself.”

“Oh, God.”

Tonks stuck out her tongue. “He needs to take something from me.”

“His eyes look so much like yours,” the tattoo artist commented. “And his hair, of course.”

“I know right!? But everything else is the father. I recently found a picture of Remus when he was Teddy’s age …” Tonks waved her free hand madly. “They’re basically the same boy!”

“No DNA test needed, eh?”

“Exactly!”

Lupin would only shake his head slowly as he walked towards the toddler to give him milk. Soon after, in the midst of all the excited squeal at the sight of a little boy with his sippy cup (“SO CUTE!”), he heard his wife calling him. “Remus! Look! It’s done!”

He could not help smiling when he saw the image of a small teddy bear in a powder-blue T-shirt on her wrist.


	30. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of this story.
> 
> First of all, I would like to say thank you to everyone who had read (and gave kudos and comments!) this story. 
> 
> This is a special one as I was going through a major personal change when I began writing this. And today, at the peak of the journey, I feel like giving Remus and Dora (and Teddy!) a big hug for accompanying me in this journey. And even bigger hugs for all of you too!
> 
> Does this mean the end of my writing about Remadora? Most likely not. I may take a break but uh ... Well. I already have one Tonks-centric fic prepared, so watch this space.

It was an exciting night at the little bookstore as curious fans lined up in front of the table, waiting for their turn to have the book signed by the author. 

The author himself would not stop smiling. As he sat there, signing books after books, and granting requests for selfie, he had gotten to meet various kinds of people: From an old-time fan of his former band to a former student. Hell, he even had an HIV/AIDS activist coming to ask him if he would be willing to talk on their podcast.

Meanwhile, at the far end of the room, a pink-haired woman seemed to be struggling with a little boy --who just would not stay put. If he was not running around, the toddler would shout and point at things. Including his mother.

“Tonks!” he shouted. “Tooonks!”

“Teddy, no! How many times should I tell you … You can’t call me ‘Tonks’! I’m your mother!”

“Tooooonks!” this time, he pulled his mother’s leather jacket angrily.

All the visitors in the room laughed at the sight.

The man himself could only shake his head, but there was no hiding the happiness in his eyes.

\--

“I hate it when people said that,” Tonks protested. 

She was crouching in front of the pram, fastening the seat belt to keep Teddy safe as he dozed off. Meanwhile, Lupin stood behind it, waiting for them to be ready.

“Which part?”

“You know, when they say things like ‘Oh, must be nice to have your wife following you around. She’s such a dutiful wife.’ What the fuck? I mean, I’m not your servant. What year do they think it is?”

“Oh, that one. Yeah, that’s annoying. But don’t worry, I …”

“Sorry, do you mind handing me the wet wipes?”

“Oh. Coming.”

Lupin reached inside the bag to hand his wife a pack of wet wipes. 

“His hands are really dirty, he really won’t stop touching things these days …”

“Well, the life of a toddler.”

“Yeah … Alright, he’s good. Let’s go!”

The couple made the move to leave the little bookstore, bracing the cold autumn night. As they walked down the street, Tonks would not stop hugging her husband’s arm, putting her head on his shoulder as he pushed the pram gently.

“You were saying something before this?”

“Oh, that. Well, he said these things about you following me around and serving me, right? Well, I turned back his words …”

Tonks lifted her head. “What did you say?”

“Simple. I told him that next summer your band is going on a tour. And since it’s a holiday, Teddy and I will be following you around and serving you.” Lupin smiled. “Like a dutiful husband. He seemed pretty shocked."

Tonks burst out laughing. “Oh, I love you!”

The couple continued their walk until they arrived at an area where there are quaint shops and restaurants around. People were gathering at some spots in the pavement, talking and laughing as fog coming out of their mouth.

The air was cheerful but that was not the reason why our couple stopped and stared. 

“Remus, this place …”

“Yes, this …”

“This is where we had our first dinner! Look, that’s it! That’s the place!”

Tonks would not stop pointing at things as more and more familiar spots showed up. “That’s the electric shop! Oh my God, that bloke is still working there!”

“Well, at least he doesn’t look very bored now.”

“And that’s where we pranked the tourists!”

The excitement peaked until the couple stopped under a lamp post.  Suddenly, the mood became sombre. 

“This place doesn’t really change, does it? Meanwhile, we …” Tonks sighed. “So many things had happened.”

Lupin reached out to give his wife a hug. “Well, for a start, there’s three of us now.”

“Yeah. Three of us,” Tonks chuckled, staring at the pram before she suddenly lifted her head. “Do you think it’s too early to teach Teddy to prank people?”

She stuck out her tongue as she waited for his reply.

“Honey.” Lupin closed his eyes exhaustedly. “Do you know how much trouble that will lead us to? As his parents?”

Tonks blushed. “Oh …”

“A lot,” Lupin stressed, his eyes widened.

“Right, sorry.”

“Which is why we need to start as soon as possible.”

Laughing, Tonks punched her husband playfully on the arm. Once their laughter had died down, the couple shared a kiss under the warm light of the lamp post, as their little boy slept on inside his pram. 

Their world might be small, but it was enough for the three of them.

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to read about Ginny going to juvie and Luna displaying her unique talent: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17710151
> 
> (Yes, all of my Muggle AU fics are related)


End file.
